Glorified Entities
by AwkwardImagination
Summary: Willow lost her family at four years old, John took her in. So now twenty years later Willow hunts alongside Sam and Dean and now apparently the angel - Castiel. From a very young age Willow decided that she didn't need a man - she was complete the way she was. But after a few moments of meeting Castiel she knew she was wrong. Shame it's not plain sailing though. Smut warning!
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Supernatural; damn well wish I did... Cas would be in it more ;D**

**Anyway, for anyone who has/wants to look at my other work, it doesn't look I'm updating or anything, but recently with everything going on I've had so many ideas and things, that this is my new "outlet" I swear this is the last new thing I'm writing, then it's new chapters almost every day for all of them!**

**Please R&R, means a lot.**

Willow was tired of the dull metal walls, hell she was tired of this damn room but there was nothing she could do about it. She rolled off the uncomfortable wooden cot, wincing as fresh blood began to spill from the cuts on her arms, soaking her grey checked shirt. She pushed her messy inky black hair from her eyes, resting her head on the back on the wall, the sweat dripping off her body as the heat made her feel queasy.  
>"You alright in there?" Bobby asked, making Willow jerk back to consciousness.<br>"Fan-fucking-tastic," she replied, trying to stand up but staggering back down as soon as she was on her feet. "No," she mumbled, knowing full well Bobby could hear her, "I think they poisoned me."  
>"What," Bobby yelled through the gratings on the door as Willows head began to spin again, the smell of the iron walls suddenly hit her like a train and the dim light was now almost blinding.<p>

Willow thought back to what had happened earlier that day, when the Demons attacked her. To begin with it was just a routine day, burn some bones, make sure the ghost was on its way, which was when they caught her. About seven of them, but Willow couldn't be certain, the room was dark and once they'd pinned her down and pulled out their knives, she couldn't concentrate on much, but they kept saying the same thing over and over, 'he wants her, we'll have fun first,' until she ran away into the night, which was a surprisingly easy fare.

Willow was vaguely aware that Dean, Sam and Bobby were coming into the safe room, but the noise their feet made she was also aware that there was a fourth person among them, but she couldn't form those thoughts into something coherent, all that was escaping from her lips where high pitched screams as a result from the poison working around her body, leaving a trail of fiery pain behind it.

"Why isn't she awake yet?" was the first thing that Willow heard when her mind dragged her from unconsciousness, she kept her eyes firmly shut as she could already feel a wake of nausea overtake her.  
>"I don't know," she heard a mysterious husky voice reply, and with that she felt a gentle pressing on her forehead, so soft that if she hadn't been concentrating so hard on finding out who was in the room without opening her eyes; she would never have felt it.<br>"She's awake," the mysterious voice said again, she felt the bed sag down by her head so she assumed that it was time to open her eyes...  
>"Hey guys," she smiled. She also immediately regretted the decision to open her eyes once the wave of dizziness hitting her, making her head spin, she moaned under her breath and shut her eyes again, propping herself upright on her elbows before opening her eyes once again.<br>"You alright?" Sam asked from his corner of the room, concern leaking into his voice.  
>"Yeah," Willow tried to shrug off, not daring to meet Sam's eyes.<br>No one said anything for a tense minute before Dean spoke up, his voice cutting the silence and tension in the air like a knife, "bullshit Will, I'm sorry but don't lie to us. We saw you before Cas healed you-"  
>Willow jerked herself upright ignoring the lights popping in her eyes and ripped the covers off her arms staring at the ridiculously smooth skin which was there, instead of the mess of open wounds that she remembered.<br>"Healed?" she all but yelled herself, "Healed. Dean Winchester why am I healed? I don't ask them for favours, I don't ask anything like them for anything. I don't like being in dept." Willow twisted her back so she could face the guy that she'd heard them call Cas and it almost knocked the wind out of her.  
>Her first coherent thought was that he was beautiful, in so many ways, and his eyes. Oh his piercing blue eyes and dark hair and pale skin – her head was in disarray, she had no idea what to say or what to do. Thoughts pushed to the front of her head, questioning if the perfect man before her was just a spell or a meat suit and he was really a Demon, and that she'd have to slice a dagger through his pretty little throat.<p>

Cas couldn't figure out what it was about her, or why she stared at him the way she did. He dared not move as in some ways he loved he way her eyes danced all over his body, and when their eyes met, Cas almost felt like fleeing. It was as if Willow could see into his soul with her round, questioning green eyes.  
>"My names Castiel and I am an Angel of the Lord," he tried to say confidently, but he wasn't sure if anyone else notice the hint of fear laced in his words. <p>

Willow tilted her head back and laughed, it wasn't a pretty laugh, she knew that, it sounded harsh and mean.  
>"You expect me to believe that? Please," she jumped to her feet and spun around to face him scowling, "who are you?"<br>"Will..." began Sam in that sympathetic caring voice of his but Dean cut over him.  
>"Will stop it, this is Cas and he's an angel and our friend. He saved your ass," he said to her raising his eyebrows, "Bobby's gone to get some food in town. Mind telling us what happened?"<br>Willow looked at Dean and she couldn't help but to soften when she looked at her face, his eyes shining up at her and a cocky smile plastered on his face as he added 'please' to the end of it.  
>She sat back down on her bed and nodded, and glanced at Cas and Sam and gestured at the multiple chairs scattered around the room covered in books, "please, sit. You're making the place look untidy."<br>Sam just smirked at her, gently placing a few of the books on the most comfortable looking chair on the floor. And when Willow next glanced up at Castiel he was still standing in the same spot looking


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Supernatural; damn well wish I did... Cas would be in it more ;D**

**Oh my lord, I'm so sad but the one review and alerts I got for this story means a lot, my first ones ;D  
>Aha<br>Hope you guys enjoy**

**Please R&R, means a lot.**

Sam just smirked at her, gently placing a few of the books on the most comfortable looking chair on the floor. And when Willow next glanced up at Castiel he was still standing in the same spot looking directly at her, cocking his head to the side as if he was confused.  
>"Yes?" Willow asked, glaring at him, "can I help you?"<br>"How am I... How am I making this place untidy?" He asked her, and Willow couldn't surpass the smile that she let slip through her lips, she tucked her hair behind her ears and pushed herself back so there was room next to her on the bed. She tapped the blackest and looked up at Castiel, "It's just an expression, please sit."

Castiel didn't know what it was, maybe it was something about the way she smiled at him, or the way she didn't laugh at him or get annoyed the way Dean did when he didn't understand a human saying, but he found himself perched on the edge of the bed, dangerously close to her. He could hear her heartbeat increase as he sat down and he sat stock still, afraid of scaring her.  
>"I'm not sure why they were there, I was Iowa burning some bones, standard hunting you know? Anyway, I was making sure the bones burnt alright, I bent down to get my fags and that's when they came. Five or six demons, grabbed me from behind." She shrugged offhandedly and Cas almost felt his blood boil at the idea of some demonic <em>aberration <em>going anywhere near her.  
>"They pinned me down and began torturing me, nothing I hadn't experienced before, they kept saying the same thing over and over again though; 'if he wants her, we'll have our fun first,' I thought it was weird." <p>

After Willow told them what had happened, silence ensued for a few minutes as no one moved, she glanced up at Castiel trying to be discrete as she could and without meaning to words began tumbling out of her mouth, "so where are your wings then, angel boy?"  
>"Mere humans can't see my wings, it would burn your eyes out," he said without even glancing at her, his eyes still staring into the distance.<br>"I'm not a _mere_ human though," she replied grinning impishly, and when he didn't reply she asked him another question, "so what about a halo?"  
>"Angels don't have halos."<br>"Okay, so what about one of them flowing white dresses?" she laughed and felt a warm smug smile inside when she saw the corner of his lips turn into what could be taken as a smile.  
>"Willow," Dean said, breaking up whatever was left of her and Castiels conversation, "we're going to see how Bobby's doing and let him know you're alright. Sam and me...Well are going to Iowa to see if we can find anything. Cas can I have a word?"<br>"Okay, see you later," she sat up and put her arms out as a hug, "Dean and Sam Winchester I want my damn hug I haven't seen you in how long and I don't even get a hug? Or are you still bitter about how I beat your ass?"  
>Dean bound forwards and pulled her into a tight hug, kissing her forehead and saying in a gruff voice, "Don't you ever scare me light that again you hear?"<br>And as suddenly as she was pulled into the bear hug he let her go and headed out the room yelling, "come on guys," over his shoulder.  
>Castiel rose from his spot on the bed and Willow smiled softly at him, and to her surprise he returned it and nodded slightly, before following Dean out the room. Which just left her and Sam.<br>"You been keeping Dean safe yeah?" she said once they'd hugged and he proceeded to mess her hair up.  
>"It's not easy," he sighed. "But yeah."<br>"How's he been... after hell?" she asked in a small voice, pulling her bag onto her lap and pulling things out in disarray.  
>"He's okay which is weird but we're not doing that badly," Sam smiled slightly and held the Malbro cigarette packet in his hand, "you looking for these Will?"<br>"Sammy please," she said plastering a sad expression on her face and looking up at him with sad green eyes, "please."  
>He sighed again and threw them half heartedly at her, she caught them perfectly and her face broke into a smile, "works every time."<br>"No one can say no to them eyes Will," he smiled as he walked out, "stay safe, and try and get some rest," he said before shutting the door.  
>Willow laughed quietly to herself at the idea of her getting rest. She couldn't remember the last time she slept properly, it couldn't have been in the last four years at least, but she made it through it all, catching ten minute naps here and there. She pulled herself out of bed and peeled the blood stained clothes off and made a mental note to put the hot water on, before pulling on a small pair of bright red girl boxers and another baggy black and dark blue checked shirt, after doing it up she pulled her hair into a loose ponytail and sighed as she leaned on the wall, for a second letting the fact she wasn't tired thanks to Castiel's healing make her feel better. For once the world wasn't as fuzzy or stressful.<br>Willow opened the rickety old window and leaned out, breathing in the fresh air and gazing up at the moon before lighting a cigarette and taking a drag before relaxing, putting one leg out the window and pulling the other to her chest.

Castiel didn't think that Willow had seen him yet and he was taking that to his advantage, he'd noticed that even earlier around her brothers that she'd put up some type of barrier and now, she looked so relaxed and innocent that it made him smile as he noted her habit's the way she was absently minded swinging her legs, and as his eyes travelled up her body he began to take note of a different type of thought. On how shapely her legs were, not too fat but not too thin either, and that she was only in a tight pair of boxers that accented the shape of her ass perfectly – Castiel jerked himself out of his revere and cleared his throat, which made Willow jump and turn her head, swinging the arm around that was holding the cigarette but was now holding a silver dagger, sighing as she realised it was him she lowered her arm and climbed inside.  
>Putting the knife down on the side she glanced up at him. "You nearly gave me a damn heart attack."<p>

Willow was trying her hardest to not smile as she was rooting through her wardrobe, every so often she'd catch Castiel checking her out and he'd always glance away, a guilty expression plastered all over his usually emotionless face.  
>She stood up clutching her pair or grey leggings triumphantly, "I knew they were in there somewhere."<br>Castiel didn't say anything he just tried his hardest to avoid looking at her at all, which made Willow even happier as it meant he liked looking at her, she silenced the normal nineteen year old that was giggling in her head as she stifled the urge to kiss him, she'd catch herself reminding herself that he was an angel and she wasn't exactly pure.  
>She stood in front of him and smiled, "do you like these?" she asked, gesturing at her body up and down and pointing at one of her many tattoos.<br>Castiel looked at where she was pointing and went to open his mouth but shut it again, and Willow could have sworn that a faint red blush appeared on his cheeks.  
>"These are, um," he cleared his throat, "protection and warding away symbols?" He glanced up at her confused and she smiled.<br>"Yeah. I met this guy in downtown New York when Dean and I worked a case there, he did tattoos with a dash of holy water in. They don't do a lot, but a little. Good enough for me. I love them."  
>"They're beautiful, as are you," Willow thought she heard Castiel whisper but she couldn't see his lips move so she just assumed that she was losing it.<p>

After an hour in the bathroom, standing in the hot shower letting it wash all the dried blood off and relax all the tense muscles in her back, she stepped out the steamy bathroom to find Castiel standing in the same place that she'd left him in after telling him that he was _not _allowed in the bathroom with her and a look of shock passed over her face.  
>"Castiel you didn't have to wait."<br>"It's alright, I had to make sure you're safe that's what Dean told me to do," he replied as he followed her down Bobbys cluttered hall.  
>Willow stopped suddenly and turned around to face Castiel, anger written all over her features.<br>"Dean told you to watch me?" she asked him, glaring him down.  
>"Dean told me to make sure that the demons didn't get to you again."<br>"Tell Dean," she snarled, "that I can take care of myself thank you very much." Before storming off into her bedroom and slamming the door. She ran a frustrated hand through her hair and silently fumed for a minute before Castiel appeared in the middle of her room.  
>"When the doors locked that usually means I want to be on my own." She spat out.<br>"Why are you so mad," Castiel asked quietly and the bright blue puppy dog eyes knocked her off her feet, it made her forget why she was mad in the first place.  
>"I'm not a child," she whispered, "I've been through enough on my own. I don't need to be taken care of."<br>"I understand," Castiel said, his voice void of emotion. "But Dean said he will back tomorrow. Just let me keep my promise to him until then?"  
>"Urgh," she said, exasperated her herself for being unable to say no to him, "fine."<br>Castiel didn't say anything as Willow flopped onto her bed face down, he only pulled out a chair and when he looked back up Willow was sitting back at the window with another cigarette.  
>"Won't you sleep?" Castiel asked her, burrowing his frow, "humans usually need long periods of sleep once they're healed."<br>"I don't sleep," she said, then carried on in a small voice, "I have nightmares."  
>She sounded so afraid that Castiel didn't realise what he'd said until he said it, "so do I. I don't need sleep but I still get afraid."<br>Willow looked up and her emerald green eyes locked with his clear blue ones and it was as if she was searching for something again, Castiel felt as if she could touch his soul with her eyes.  
>"Tell me?" she asked, "I might be able to help somehow, it's horrible being afraid all the time. I know."<br>Her voice sounded so scared, caring and vulnerable at the same time that Castiel just wanted to hold her but he refrained himself and instead said, "will you tell me yours too?"  
>"Okay," she whispered and pulled her knees to her chest.<p>

**Nothings happened, but everything there will come in useful trust me :}**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Supernatural; damn well wish I did... Cas would be in it more ;D**

**Hope you guys enjoy**

**Please R&R, means a lot.**

"Won't you sleep?" Castiel asked her, burrowing his frow, "Humans usually need long periods of sleep once they're healed."  
>"I don't sleep," she said, then carried on in a small voice, "I have nightmares."<br>She sounded so afraid that Castiel didn't realise what he'd said until he said it, "So do I. I don't need sleep but I still get afraid."  
>Willow looked up and her emerald green eyes locked with his clear blue ones and it was as if she was searching for something again, Castiel felt as if she could touch his soul with her eyes.<br>"Tell me?" she asked, "I might be able to help somehow, and it's horrible being afraid all the time. I know."  
>Her voice sounded so scared, caring and vulnerable at the same time that Castiel just wanted to hold her but he refrained himself and instead said, "will you tell me yours too?"<br>"Okay," she whispered and pulled her knees to her chest.  
>Castiel took a deep breath in and sighed, putting his hands in his lap and staring off into space as he began, "I have killed so many brothers and sisters recently, and I don't like it, watching them die. It's... unpleasant. But so is where they put you in heaven if they think you'll rebel, the only difference between there and hell is that heaven doesn't use such crass ways of torture. And the things I've seen in hell too..." his voice became strained, "I've just seen too much. And now I'm beginning to feel more. Fear isn't nice."<br>"No," Willow agreed quietly, "and neither is the things you've seen Castiel. You're allowed to be scared; hell I'm scared all the time. But there are better feelings you know. Happiness, anticipation, love. All better than fear."  
>"I've never felt anticipation or love," he said bluntly, "I feel happiness sometimes though. Usually when I'm here, on earth."<br>Willow stretched and smiled, "you should stay on earth more often then."  
>"I can't. My duties are required elsewhere often."<br>"Fuck them," she smiled warmly, and Castiel looked at her almost smiling himself, "it's your life Castiel, don't let people control it."  
>"I work for my father," he said quietly, leaning back on the chair, before lifting his eyes up to meet hers, "your nightmares?"<br>Willow nodded slowly and tucked a curl behind her ear before lighting a cigarette and talking a drag before talking quietly, "I was just sixteen and we were working a job in Texas. I always hated Texas, mainly the accents I guess," she chuckled sadly, "It was me, John, Dean and Sam; there was a spike in demonic possessions so we went to check it out. We were talking the case through in a bar the night we got there, when they took me. We were walking back to the car when they grabbed me and used me as their shield. They knew that the boys wouldn't risk hurting me so... I assume that's why," she stopped for a few seconds and ran a shaky hand through her hair before continuing, her voice sounding hollow, "they hid me in a warehouse two states over, took them two weeks to find me. I fought but I... I couldn't do anything."  
>Castiel felt his anger throughout his whole body, the way that they hurt her; he didn't need to know how. Only that they did and that was bad enough in itself, but the way she spoke about it, and the way she avoided sleep made him want to hit something, no one should go through something like that, especially someone that perfect.<br>She glanced up and saw the anger on his face and mistook it straight away, "I'm sorry," she said in a rushed voice. "I know I'm a hunter, I asked for it."  
>"No," Castiel said in his husky voice, and the way his eyes connected with hers made her heart melt, "you didn't deserve that. It'll never happen again."<br>She smiled warmly at him, a true smile which reached her eyes and that made Castile's heart melt that time, it was so weird having these feelings for someone welling up inside him. He decided to seek Gabriel's advice when Dean returned, it felt too foreign.  
>But that only made Castiel sadder, that Dean would return and he'd have to leave.<br>"Cas," Willow said, making Castiel snap back to his senses, "Shit, I'm sorry. Do you mind – me calling you Cas?"  
>"No... It's a sign of friendship here isn't it? Informal nicknames?"<br>She snorted and smiled at how quirky he'd put it but nodded anyway, "well if you see it like that then you can call me Will."  
>"Will..." Castiel began hesitantly, crossing the room in a second so he was towering over her as she sat on his bed and for once she felt no fear as he moved closer. "Do you want to sleep?"<br>She looked up at him with round eyes and only then did she realise how tired she actually was, "Why?"  
>"Because, if I concentrate while you sleep, I can enter and control your dreams. So you'll have no nightmares, I promise," Castiel told her with such sincerity that it shocked both of them.<br>She didn't even hesitate before replying, "What do we need to do."  
>Which was when Castiel did something he'd never done before, he opened his mouth and lied.<br>"Skin on skin contact can help," he said hesitantly, scared that she'd see through his lies straight away and he'd be denied the chances of touching her skin which was sure to be the first and last time.  
>"Okay," she said without any sign of hesitation, flinging the tatty blue quilt back and moving to the edge of the bed. "Come here then."<p>

At that moment Castiel felt as if he was now truly in heaven.  
>After some confusion which lead to Willow laughing her head off for about ten minutes, Castiel was lying in Willows bed, without his shoes, coat or tie on, and she had her head rested on his chest and one hand slipped up his shirt and was resting comfortably on his stomach tracing little patters on his skin and for a moment Castiel felt unable to say or do anything, as for fear of destroying the most perfect moment he believed to have ever had in his life.<br>Eventually his arms were around her as he softly cradled her back and she mumbled into his chest half asleep. "You sure this will work?"  
>"I swear it," he replied in an equally quiet voice as he felt her body relax beneath him as she fell asleep.<p>

"_Where am I?" Willow asked as she sat down on the edge on the cliff beside Castiel, she tried to stop her hair flying out behind her as the sea breeze was pushing against her. Eventually she gave up and looked down at the view below her and smiled. The sun was high in the sky, making the crystal clear blue sea glitter as if there were diamonds buried at the bottom of the ocean.  
>"This is what I saw once, hundreds of years ago. It's been my favourite place ever since." He told her, as he lifted his head to face the sun.<br>"You sound...Happy," she said to Castiel, as she pulled her eyes away from the glittering sea beneath her and she turned to face him. She noticed how different he was here, as if he felt freer. He was no longer tense and quiet but instead, he almost looked relaxed and she nearly went as far to say happy. "Your eyes, they're the same as the sea, it's beautiful," she blurted out before she could even think about it. But once she realised what she said she covered her mouth and turned to face him, her eyes horrified.  
>And something happened which she could never have prepared herself for. Castiel laughed. And it wasn't a cruel or cynical laugh like she expected after saying something so utterly stupid, but a laugh of genuine happiness. Once he stopped he looked at her and smiled, "thank you I think. But in all my memories I can't find anything to reciprocate the compliment. I've never seen anything beautiful enough to dare compare them to you."<br>Willow was speechless for a second before she dropped her head down, she could feel the blush creeping across her cheeks and in a split second decision she lifted her head up and met his eyes, their lips almost touching.  
>"Do you remember what you said earlier Cas?" she asked in a small voice.<br>"What do you mean?"  
>"About how you've never felt love before..." she gave Castiel a second to reply and when he didn't before she lost the nerve she continued, he'd moved his face slightly closer to hers, they were just a breath away from kissing. "If you want, I'll show you," she continued to say before leaning in and meeting his lips.<br>The kiss was so gentle she was surprised, she pulled back to try and gauge a reaction, to make sure she hadn't frightened him away, but he moved close meeting her lips this time as he softly put a hand on her cheek, and Willow decided that this was her heaven.  
>She was in the full blare of the sunshine, with the quiet noise of the waves below and she was kissing an angel that she was pretty sure she was in love with, despite meeting him that day. But while their lips were touching it was hard to form a coherent thought. All she could think about was him. And how soft his hands are as one hand was knotted in her hair and the other on the back of her neck. He pulled away for a second, and she looked into his blue eyes and softly ran a hand over his cheek, "Willow Winchester," he began, "I - "<em>

"Will. Cas," she heard Dean yell as the front door slammed shut behind him and she jerked herself out of bed and glanced wildly around her room as she spotted Castiel. He'd put his shoes and trench coat back on but was staring down at loss at the tie around his neck. Willow slipped out of bed and winced as Castiel snapped his head up once he'd heard the floorboards creek.  
>"Let me," Willow said, as she slowly did his tie up, breathing his scent in, and she couldn't quiet decide what could possibly be better. He smelt like the sea air, rain and thunder which made her heart race, once she'd done his black tie up she looked up at him and patted his chest. He looked down at her with cold emotionless eyes.<br>"Cas," she said softly almost apologetic, but before she could continue he cut over her, his voice harsh as he moved away from her touch.  
>"I must go back up to heaven. Tell Dean I'll come to talk to him later, and not to call until then."<br>And before she could reply he disappeared and in the same second Sam flung the door open, "Will hey, want some breakfast? Where's Cas?" he asked in a rush.  
>"Yeah, I'll cook. And I don't know, said he'll be back later though," she added as an afterthought, lost in her thoughts about what had happened and his attitude that morning.<br>"What did you think of him?" Sam pressed her curiously as they walked down the stairs.  
>Willow shrugged callously but then she felt a little breeze behind her which sent chills down her spine and smelt like sea breeze, rain and thunder. She smiled to herself and looked at Sam square in the eyes. "I'll let you know later, me and him need to talk first," with resolve as she felt the presence leave.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Supernatural; damn well wish I did... Cas would be in it more ;D**

**Thanks a lot, Cloudgirl9, your comments and encouragement mean a lot, I'm glad you enjoy, feel special you're probably the reason I've updated so much today.  
>Hope you guys enjoy<strong>

**Please R&R means a lot.**

And before she could reply he disappeared and in the same second Sam flung the door open, "Will hey, want some breakfast? Where's Cas?" he asked in a rush.  
>"Yeah, I'll cook. And I don't know, said he'll be back later though," she added as an afterthought, lost in her thoughts about what had happened and his attitude that morning.<br>"What did you think of him?" Sam pressed her curiously as they walked down the stairs.  
>Willow shrugged callously but then she felt a little breeze behind her which sent chills down her spine and smelt like sea breeze, rain and thunder. She smiled to herself and looked at Sam square in the eyes. "I'll let you know later, me and him need to talk first," with resolve as she felt the presence leave.<p>

Willow looked at herself in the dusty full length mirror and sighed in disgust at herself and had to bite her lip to stop the tears which were threatening to spill down her cheeks. She was wearing a mid thigh length black, white and grey tie dyed dress which according to everyone else fit her body perfectly. But how could it, she cried to herself, due to all the tiredness, hunting and her metabolism she had no "body shape" she was a stick, a boys figure and she hated it. She thought that the tattoos which she so much loved marginally helped but only barely. She tried to tease her untameable hair into something which less resembled a lions mane but she only exceeded it in making it stick out at odd angles more. She growled at herself in the mirror and as the tears turned into waves of anger she'd clenched her fist and lashed out at the mirror, letting the pain of the glass cutting into her hands stop the tears falling. She fell to the floor and felt so hopeless. How could she expect an angel to love her? She was everything she hated about the world and more, and he was a fricken angel. She held her bleeding hand to her chest and rolled her eyes as the door bust open.  
>"What's going on?" Dean yelled as he burst through the door with his gun held at chest level with Sam and Bobby close behind him.<br>Willow stood up and glared at them, "I hit a mirror Dean," she spat out, trying to storm past him but he softly pushed her back and frowned at her lowering his gun.  
>"Why'd you do that?" he asked her, she sighed when she saw both Sam and Dean were equally as confused.<br>"Because I could," she snapped back.  
>"No way. That's not good enough. I'm serious what happened."<br>"I hit a mirror," she said, her words laced with venom, "because I was pissed, and before you ask why, because I damn well can be. Now," she said taking a menacing step forward, "I'm not in the mood, I want to have a cigarette and make dinner so y'know. Move."  
>With silence and avoiding her eyes they all parted and gave her space to move and as soon as she stepped out of her cluttered bedroom she could hear them all start muttering. She felt bad, sure, but she'd only spent a day with all three of them and they felt so confining, it was driving her crazy. It wasn't that she didn't love them, she loved them all but they were always worried, or giving her orders and she was so accustomed to doing what she wished that their concern made her feel sick.<br>It wasn't that Bobby didn't care; she amended her thoughts as she moved around the kitchen, pulling the ingredients out of the unorganised shelves. It's just he took her word for it that she was okay, even if he knew she was lying because he knew she didn't want to talk about it, but Sam and Dean were always asking and to be frank, Willow didn't feel as if she deserved their concern.

Two hours later Willow called out from the kitchen that dinner was ready and in a blink Dean was already at the table. He smiled at Willow and grinned as innocently as he could up at her, "do we have pie?" he asked her and Willow smacked him round the head with the cloth before she answered smiling at him.  
>"Pie is for after, for now I have made lasagne."<br>Willow walked into the kitchen to get their plates and when she got back all three boys were smiling angelically at her. Slightly unnerved she went to the kitchen to get her plate and when she walked back in they were still smiling, their meals untouched until she sat down, and then all three picked up their knives and forks and began eating their dinner in silence and with _table manners_.  
>"What is it?" Willow asked, breaking the silence in the air with ease as she put her fork down and leaned back on her chair, leaving half of her meal untouched.<br>"What is what Willow," Sam asked, barely daring to meet her eyes, she smiled suspiciously at him.  
>"All of this. You," she pointed at Dean, "You are eating human bite size pieces slowly. You're all so well behaved it's actually horrid." Willow sighed and began to fiddle with her hair, "Look if this is about earlier. I'm sorry I snapped I've just had a bad day. Woke up in one really, I'm just sorry so please dear god. Go back to normal."<br>"See," Dean said triumphantly, flinging a bit of pasta over the table and hitting Sam, "I told you she didn't hate me."  
>"I never said she hated you," Sam sighed flinging a piece back at Dean, "I just said you were annoying."<br>"Hey," Dean stood up indignantly with a smile in his eyes, "I am not -"  
>Which was when Castiel appeared and cut over him.<br>"Is this a bad time?" he asked, his eyes averted to the ground as he noticed Willow sitting at the table.  
>"No, no," Dean laughed, "Sam said I was annoying, you don't think I'm annoying do you Cas?"<br>"Sometimes I find you very abrasive yes," he said in an emotionless voice and that alone almost made Willow cry. She wanted him to notice her bandaged hand, and notice how upset she was and that he'd talk to her the way he did last night, even though it was a dream it wasn't any less real.  
>"Oh," was all Dean said back, and this time it was Sam who broke the silence with a chuckle which set Bobby off laughing, and as much as Willow wanted to join in she couldn't, she was too worried her voice would betray her.<br>"There have been three more seals broken, and here is the details on one we know is happening next week," Castiel said, taking a bundle of paper out of his pocket and handing it to Dean, and before Dean could open his mouth to complain Castiel cut over him, "The angels have other problems to deal with instead of this. Much more pressing matters."  
>Willow wondered if she was the only one who heard apparently at the end of Castiels sentence but she still couldn't trust herself to speak until she saw him straighten up ready to leave, "Wait," she said louder than she intended, and blushed red not daring to meet anyone's eyes aside Castiels, "please. Can I have a word?" She asked in a quieter voice.<br>He pulled himself up and looked at her coldly, "I don't have time for your trivial human matters. Don't call until you stopped the seal breaking." Before he turned and left.  
>Willow stared at the space that Castiel stood in and she frowned, trying to process what had just happened which was when her tears started. She spun around in disarray and picked up a full bottle of vodka and with a small, <em>don't bother me<em>, to Sam, Dean and Bobby she ran into her room slid the lock and broke down.

An hour later and ten shots down the line she had changed out of her dress and became comfortable in a small pair of shorts and a Nirvana top. She had both her legs dangling out of the window as she took another swig of vodka, grimacing as it burnt down her throat, which was when she heard what she swore was Castiels little awkward cough.  
>She drunkenly tried to swing around but in her state she turned her head and fell head first off the window seal and fell with a crash to the floor.<br>"What do you want?" she slurred standing up, "I thought I was too trivial for your high and mighty angelnessness."  
>"No," Castiel whispered and strode over to her, lifting the Vodka bottle out of her hand and placing it on the floor and pulling her into a kiss.<br>At first Willow didn't know what to do, she was so confused about everything, so afraid of being hurt but the way his lips moved against hers and the way that their body fit so well it was difficult to say no, but eventually once she'd pushed him away she brushed the tears from her eyes and faced him, for once his face was concerned and not empty.  
>"Can you, uh, make me sober please," she mumbled, "with like angelically magic powers."<br>As she finished that sentence, Castiel softly pressed two fingers on her forehead and the clarity that Willow suddenly saw the world with made her head swim.  
>"Jesus," she staggered back and sat on her bed with her head between her knees. From the way the bed sagged she knew that Castiel had sat beside and he'd begun to hesitantly rub her back soothingly.<br>"Don't leave," she whispered, unsure if Castiel could hear her, but the light fuzzing in her head made her unable to talk.  
>"I won't," he replied, and he softly pulled back on her shoulders, helping her sit upright, and as they looked into each other's eyes he kissed her lightly on the lips. Willow let herself get lost in the moment for a second before she broke it.<br>"We need to talk," she said sullenly.


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Supernatural; damn well wish I did... Cas would be in it more ;D**

**Thanks a lot, Cloudgirl9, still loving your reviews, and I think this should clear up a lot in the next chapter, but the nightmares she's going to start having even with Castiel in her dreams in the impending doom, you'll see...**

**I think the plot is going slower then I want it too, but there needs to be the steady relationship with her and Castiel before I start letting the shit get heavy.  
>Hope you guys enjoy<strong>

**Please R&R means a lot.**

"Jesus," she staggered back and sat on her bed with her head between her knees. From the way the bed sagged she knew that Castiel had sat beside and he'd begun to hesitantly rub her back soothingly.  
>"Don't leave," she whispered, unsure if Castiel could hear her, but the light fuzzing in her head made her unable to talk.<br>"I won't," he replied, and he softly pulled back on her shoulders, helping her sit upright, and as they looked into each other's eyes he kissed her lightly on the lips. Willow let herself get lost in the moment for a second before she broke it.  
>"We need to talk," she said sullenly.<br>"I know," Castiel replied leaning back and placed his hands in his lap, "I'm sorry about the way I acted."  
>Willow held her hand up and looked into his eyes, gesturing for him to be quiet, "Look I need to tell you some things before you start being all sweet and make me back out of saying this," it looked as if Castiel was going to argue, he opened his mouth but after seeing how sad her emerald eyes looked he shut it again and stared at her. The silence in the room hung heavy until Willow began to talk again, "I trust you, more than anyone I think, which is weird. I've only ever trusted the Winchesters and Bobby and I never planned on trusting anyone else because I'm scared. I've never had to worry about them hurting me, or betraying my trust. But with you it's like everything's different. The way you acted this morning, especially after I told you about my nightmares, it was so new to me <em>so powerful<em>. I've only known you for two days Castiel," Willow said, her words rushing out of her mouth, she felt as if that now she'd opened her mouth she just couldn't stop. "I don't want to lose you, which is so fucking different and I can't just think about you rationally which is stupid. You're an angel and I'm just a plain old human with so much baggage you don't even-"  
>"No," he cut over her quietly, "nothing about you is plain. Can I explain to you what made me react the way I did?" And without waiting for an answer he carried on anyway, desperate for her to understand. "I was assigned here to protect Dean for reasons I don't know and although my <em>relationship<em> with him was making me change the other angels didn't comment on anything. But they saw me when I met you, and how we were that night, although our dreams are safe they noticed my changes. Angels, although we do have emotions, we weren't trained to show them, it clouds judgement. And I couldn't," his voice flared with emotion as he grabbed her hands and he shook them slightly, as if trying to emphasise his point, "I couldn't hurt you Willow Winchester, and I just want you to know that."

"I know," she whispered and Castiel felt the overwhelming urge to do something, _anything_ to make her smile, she looked so sad and dejected that he wanted her trust in him like she had the other night, with such entirety that it scared him. But instead she sat still, so reserved that it almost made him want to pull her into his arms and show her urges he never had before.  
>"Willow," he tapped her leg and made sure she was looking him square in the eyes before he continued, "the angels told me to take some time off, apparently the apocalypse isn't worrying them at all," he muttered darkly before he continued, making conscious effort to look happy, "may I spend it with you. I want you to... I want you to trust me."<br>Willow chucked her head back and laughed. Not a malicious and nasty sound which Castiel had heard before, but the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard in his long life. Once she calmed down she kissed his cheek and then his lips, her hesitation clear as his was to her, but as awkward the way that his hands pulled her closer and the way her hands knotted in his chocolate coloured hair made it clear how fitted they were. Willow slowly untangled herself and smiled at Castiel flippantly.  
>"Cas, the trouble is I trust you too much."<br>Cas furrowed his brow and looked at her with his head cocked to the side, concern etched in his blue eyes, "humans are confusing."  
>"Just you wait," she smirked, "wait until Dean and Sam fight over a girl. The shit they come out with – confusing."<br>"Willow... I want to go and get something, will you. Will you remain here all night? So I can return to see you here?" Castiel asked her, his eyes pleading with hers as he stood up.  
>She stood up and planted a small kiss on his cheek before nodding in agreement, and with that he was gone and Willow was in her room alone.<br>She flung her door open and flew into the bathroom, meeting her gaze as she looked at her reflection and began to apply the power and black eye shadow. After dampening her hair down into semi tameable curls, she caught herself laughing. She was standing in the bathroom, prettying herself up for an _angel_.  
>"If I'm going to hell anyway," she mumbled as she jumped down the stairs, "might as well go down for falling for an angel suppose."<br>"Woah where's the fire?" Bobby asked her as he noticed her bubbling frame in the kitchen as Willow pulled out a beer, the smile etched on her face.  
>"Can I girl never be happy Bobby?" she asked as she shut the fridge with a swing of her hips, lighting a cigarette in the process as she all but danced into the living room, sitting on the couch between Sam and Dean, distracting them from whatever debate they were having.<br>"What are you doing?" Dean asked her as Sam simultaneously asked her;  
>"You alright?"<br>"I my dear ickle brothers," she smiled, pushing herself back so she was squashed comfortably in-between them, "why I am rather well thanks."  
>"Oh god," Dean said, "Have you ever seen her so happy Sammy? What have you done?" he asked her accusingly, looking at her square in the eyes "is that <em>make up<em>?"  
>"Yes Dean," she spoke slowly, "I am I girl and sometimes girls were makeup. But unlike you we don't have to hide it."<br>"Hey," Dean said indignantly, "I don't wear makeup."  
>"Do too," she laughed and was reassured by Sam's chuckle. It was as easy to get on with them as ever and that only warmed her heart.<br>"I do not," he said and as he leant in to began to tickle her, there was a cold breeze in the room which was when Castiel appeared in the centre of the room and stood still, staring at the picture in front of him.  
>Willow looked radiant, she was almost shining from happiness, and Sam looked more relaxed than Castiel had ever seen him in his whole time knowing him and Dean. Dean just looked a mixture of protective and proud.<br>Willow jumped out of her seat and smiled softly at Cas as she looked confusingly at the bundle he was holding in his hand before awkwardly holding them out to Willow. A smile plastered on his face like a nervous school boy. Dean, Sam and Bobby were both in shock when they noticed the blush appearing on both Willow and Castiels cheeks, but she took the flowers regardless and was absolutely gobsmacked. They were roses and every single petal was a different shade of blue, some the colour of the midnight sky and some others the same colour as the glittering sea which she saw in her dream. They were beyond words.  
>"Castiel... These are beautiful. Where did you get them?" she asked gobsmacked.<br>"These flowers," he coughed and cleared his throat, far too aware of the audience surrounding them, "they only grow in a certain place in Australia. I just wanted to show them too you. I hope you like them."  
>"Well I'll be," Bobby spoke up, leaning on the doorframe and looking at the blushing pair in shock, "so you two huh?"<br>Willow said nothing and just blushed bright red, she bent her head down trying to cover up the red tint on her cheeks, letting her hair fall over her face.  
>"You and Cas?" Sam asked, letting his mouth left open in shock.<br>"You and _Cas_?" Dean repeated, looking at the silent pair before looking at Willow, "don't get me wrong Will, I mean whatever. But he's an _angel_. I never had you down for that type."  
>"You guys are jumping to conclusions," she said quietly, lifting her head up to meet Castiels gaze and she could have sworn that he flashed a smile her way before his face going back to being emotionless.<br>Willow went to speak again but instead she leaned back and yawned, arching her back as she stretched, and Castiel was immediately in front of her with his arm outstretched, "tired?" he asked her quietly, and as Willow put her hands in Castiels she kicked Dean in the leg as she walked past him.  
>"Keep your mouth open like that Dean you'll catch flies."<br>Willow was half way up the stairs when she heard Deans reply, "Will the dudes a fricken angel."  
>"That was awkward," Castiel murmured once her bedroom door was shut, and he turned to face Willow who had put the blue roses in the half filled up sink and had already slipped into her overly long bed top.<br>"You're telling me," she laughed, "Nah. I think they find it as weird as I do. Trusting you."  
>"They also seem, quiet adverse to... us." Castiel said quietly, as he put his shoes, trench coat and tie in a neat pile on the floor before climbing into bed with her, automatically pulling her on top of his chest, his arms moulding to her shape as he relaxed as he felt her steady heart beat on his side.<br>"There is a us?" she questioned him quietly, but even as she said the question she knew that she wasn't going to get an answer, regardless that didn't seem to stop her falling asleep easily. Waiting for Castiel to enter her dreams. 

'_Where are we this time?' Willow asked as she looked around, brushing cherry blossoms off her shoulders as it fell to the ground like pink snow. She glanced down at what she was wearing and was surprised. It was her prom dress, a short black dress which came mid way up her thigh and was strapless on one side, the other finishing at her wrist, the material flattering her entirely making her look like a war goddess, with the roses Castiel gave her laced in crown on top of her head. She wondered over to Castiel, walking barefoot on the layer of cherry blossoms on the ground which felt like satin on her feet.  
>'This is a place I designed for this dream, using some of your memories to make it good,' he smiled simply and looked at her, his mouth gaping open as he looked at her up and down, 'you look amazing.'<br>'Always the tone of surprise,' she joked, sitting on the bench next to him, and looking at the vast, and apparently bottomless lake before them, with cherry blossoms floating daintily on the top. 'This looks like something out of a fairy tale,' she said in awe.  
>'You like it?' he asked, taking her hand.<br>'I adore it.'  
>They sat in silence for a while, Willow had no idea how long, but it didn't matter. The silence was so comfortable that they both seemed unwilling to break it, Castiel would every now and then trace little patterns on the back of her hand and his presence made her feel more loved than she believed she'd ever had.<br>'Willow,' Castiel asked suddenly, 'do you remember what you said to me on the cliff?'  
>'Yeah,' she said uncertainly, 'what about it?'<br>'I think...I have feelings for you. Things I have never felt before.'  
>'Like what Cas?' she asked calmly, putting her head on his shoulder, trying to calm her heart, because she was certain he must hear it, it sounded so loud to her, thumping in her ears.<br>'I want to be with you all the time, and when I'm not with you I miss you, and it makes me wonder if you miss me too. When you told me of your nightmares... of that scum hurting you it made me so mad of the idea of them being anywhere near you. I constantly worry of your safety and I can't think of any time other than this that I have been happier. I don't think I can be any happier,' he finished with a sincere smile which could calm the wildest ocean. Willow had no idea on what to say back, except from;  
>'You have no idea how close to that I feel too,' before she kissed him, and he kissed her back with such ferocious passion that the world around them could have been on fire and they wouldn't have noticed, they were so wrapped up in each other's movements, like the way that Castiels tongue begged for entry into Willows mouth and how she'd moved at some point so she was straddling his lap, with his hands wrapped tightly around her waist and her hands leaving his hair alone to hurriedly trying to undo his shirt-<em>

Which was went she was ripped away from her cherry blossom paradise into a disconcerting blackness, she sighed in frustration and flattened her dress, trying to calm her ragged breathing, "always get woken up at the fucking good bits," she cursed under her breath before the torchlight began to flicker around her, and she realised that as of now she couldn't move. Her breathing became panicked as she couldn't move her hands which were stuck to her sides.  
>She was still dreaming, and Castiel had left her, she thought back to their last few seconds in their paradise when she realised he hadn't left, from the tortured cry she heard as she was pulled here, Castiel had lost her.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the reviews they mean a lot, sorry about this chapter its quiet short and not as good as I like, but I'm already working on the next one, hope it'll be amazing. **

**Please R&R means a lot guys **

'_Where am I?' Willow asked, her voice deadly calm as she pressed at the invisible bindings, testing out how far she could move. 'This isn't what I pictured Cas being into; I'm assuming I'm somewhere else. I'm also assuming you're here somewhere bitch.'  
>'Watch your tongue,' a voice spoke from the darkness and Willow felt a sudden flash of pain hit her cheeks, it felt like a red hot poker scalding her cheek, she knew she was bleeding from the wetness sliding down her neck. She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from screaming or making any noise at all. Be it only a dream, they still weren't allowed the satisfaction of hearing her squeal.<br>'Fuck yourself,' she spat out, squinting in the weak candle light to see her capacitor, she winced under her breath as he jumped forwards and grabbed her cheeks, pulling her face closer to his.  
>'Learn your manners,' he snarled before stepping back into the darkness and the pressure on her arms and legs were realised as he stepped back into the light.<br>'My names Lucifer,' he said softly and Willow took a small step back, her eyes darting around but only taking in darkness, 'don't run,' he grinned. 'We need to talk.'_

Castiel was pushed away from Willow with a start; he was in no way asleep but so wrapped up in the paradise in her mind that he was completely unaware of everything around him. He was thrown on to the floor and within a second he was back on his feet and leaning over Willow's convulsing body, he grabbed her shoulders and shook her – her head dropped back limp and her hair which was damp from sweat was stuck to her forehead. The dark colour of her hair contrasted with how pasty her skin had gone. She was moaning under her breath and Castiel found it unable to wake her, in front of his eyes ruby red blood spilled from the cut from her cheek making a painful moan escape her blue tinted lips.  
>"Dean," Cas tried to yell, his voice coming out as only a horse whisper as he couldn't lift his eyes away from her pained expression as he still held her in his arms, "Dean," he yelled louder, and before Castiel could even think about anything else Dean was standing behind him.<br>"What the hell happened?" he yelled as Castiel moved out the way, it pained him to be away from her but his healing powers didn't seem to work on whatever was wrong with her and he needed Dean to make her better, he needed it.

Willows body was twitching on the bed while Dean cradled her head in his hands, pushing her hair off her forehead as he checked her temperature, his hand almost burning on her feverish touch.  
>"Shit Cas she's burning up, Bobby, Sam," he yelled, and then turned to face Cas, "hurry get into the bathroom, start running a freezing cold bath."<br>Before Cas could more or even reply, Willow was in Dean's arms and he was running into the tatty old bathroom, placing Willow down as gently as he could in the once white bath tub and running the cold tap, splashing the water all over Willows broken body. Castiel stood in the door frame and as he watched Dean he couldn't remember ever feeling so powerless, without his touch he was useless and she was vulnerable, he'd let his happen.  
>With a start Willow flew upright, clutching her cheek and breathing in large, frightened breathes, her wet hair sticking up at odd angles as she ran a shaky hand through her hair. Castiel rushed forward to lend his hand as she hung onto both him and Dean with an ice cold grip as we helped her walk down to the panic room. Bobby and Sam disappeared to get a towel and some whiskey, and once they returned, Willow was already looking better.<br>Castiel noticed the way the colour was beginning to return to her body, and the hardened look in her eyes came back, she looked tired but neither he nor Dean wanted to mention it, she was sat on the edge of bed ready to start pacing at any minute and Castiel couldn't help but to momentarily let the guilt swallow him up, it was his thought he should have been more careful. Made sure she was safe.

"You mind telling us what happened?" Dean asked her once Bobby and Sam returned to the panic room, concern etched into his eyes as he held her gaze steadily.  
>"I was asleep with Cas," she began nervously, not meeting anyone's eyes but still noticing the raised eyebrows that the Winchester boys exchanged and she sent them a daring look, "and Castiel was protecting my dreams from the nightmares – and it was nice," she smiled faintly and looked at Castiel who was trying not to show his smile, and finally succumbed, ducking his head down in a last vain attempt to disguise the grin spreading across his face.<br>"What do you mean by nice?" Bobby asked her suspiciously.  
>"Do you want details?" she replied sarcastically, before continuing, "but it was like I was pulled out. Lucifer pulled me out." Silence ensued after that, "I don't remember what he said," she added quietly which was when she noticed the looks shared between Castiel and Dean, the tension from them two filled the air, as Bobby silently poured her another whiskey, which she downed before smacking Dean round the back of the head, once she had his attention she gestured at Castiel, "What?"<br>"What what?" he asked her trying to sound innocent.  
>"Dean don't be an ass monkey, what are you two manly staring into each other's eyes about."<br>"Dean wants me to check your soul," Castiel spoke up, looking up at the ceiling, "Lucifer has a nasty habit of hurting souls for fun."  
>"So check mine," she shrugged, trying to get eye contact from him but failing miserably.<br>"No," he replied bluntly and coldly, "it's like torture."  
>She glanced at each one of them in turn with her round perceiving eyes and shrugged, crossing the room to Castiel and pulling his hand into hers, "I don't care. Please. You're all worried and I trust you, I want to know I'm okay too," she added softly, standing on tip toes to reach his lips for a split second, "I want to be sure I'm not a monster."<br>Willow stood still for a second gazing into Castiels seemingly bottomless blue eyes before he nodded barely, finding it unable to ignore her pleadings.  
>"Lie down," he told her, his voice husky and emotionless as he rolled his shirt sleeve off, and slid her top up to just under her bra.<br>"Um," Sam said coughing politely, his protectiveness seeping into his voice, "do you really need to pull her top up?"  
>"I am less likely to destroy her, so yes."<br>And with that Castiel ignored all his instincts and pushed his hand in, petrified of messing up.

Willow opened her eyes, she felt woozy after the excessive amount of pain that night, but the look of guilt in Castiels eyes made her swing her legs off the bed and walk to the centre of the room, lighting a cigarette as she did do, taking a deep drag before asking the dreaded question. "Soul okay. Not been eaten by monsters?" she tried to laugh it off but the warning look Dean sent her told her to shut up. Willow in all her years of living with them boys she'd never seen any of them more pale and worried than she had now.  
>"Nothing dangerous," Castiel replied, not telling any lies but not the truth either, he prayed momentarily after the words escaped his mouth that no one would pull him up on his strange answer but thankfully and to his surprise no one did.<p>

**Short and crap, but Lucifer wants Willow, that's the beginning of this tale for them!**

**Surprises are more to come, I know it's taken a while to get this far but now the plot is rolling.**


	7. Chapter 7

**200 views (A lot to me;D) and barely any reviews, come on people, review!**

**Thankyou to those who did review, it means a lot to me.  
>I think I'll update one or two more chapters tonight, but alas dinner is ready now so enjoy!<br>R&R**

"Nothing dangerous," Castiel replied, not telling any lies but not the truth either, he prayed momentarily after the words escaped his mouth that no one would pull him up on his strange answer but thankfully and to his surprise no one did.  
>The rest of the night passed in a blur. Sam went straight up to bed, whilst Bobby and Dean played poker until the early hours of the morning by which time they were both so tired and irritable that they went to bed without talking to one and other under the pretence they the other had cheated. Willow point blank refused to go to bed, not matter what deal Dean tried to make or how many pleading glances Castiel sent her way.<br>"No," she said with finality as she walked out of the bathroom to find Castiel sitting in her bed with the covers called back and his puppy dog eyes look already on his face.  
>"But humans need sleep."<br>"I'll be fine," she smiled softly and she felt her heart flutter as Castiel lent forwards and linked his hand around her wrist, pulling her closer to him until she was sitting on his lap. Her hands automatically flew to his hair as she began to play with it slightly in a rhythm which made Castiel relax.  
>He sighed dejectedly, "well it'll be morning soon, what do you want to do today?"<br>She growled under her breath and nibbled on his neck before whispering into his ear, that she could think of a few things, before pulling back completely and pulling Castiel to his feet.  
>"It's up to you," she said quietly as they sneaked past the boys bedrooms, "for today anyway. I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Tea?" she asked once they'd reached the kitchen.<br>"I don't need tea," he replied bluntly sitting down.  
>"I know," she sighed, "but would you like some? Tea is fucking brilliant."<br>"I've never had it."  
>Willow just looked at Castiel with a look of shock on her face, her emerald eyes lined with black, making her look more stunning than usual, it reminded Castiel of the dress she wore at their Cherry Blossom dream.<br>"That dress," Castiel said slowly, ignoring the shocked glances that Willow kept throwing over her shoulder as she made breakfast, "that I found in your memory. What memory was it?"  
>Willow shuddered as she sat down opposite Castiel, hugging her tea with one hand and a cigarette in the other. "It was my prom dress, I had to throw it away afterwards, it was covered in blood. My prom date, Lucas or something – I had to slit his throat, he was possessed," she said evenly, sipping her tea.<br>"How long have you been doing all this?" Castiel asked her cocking his head to the side.  
>"John Winchester found me when I was six years old," Willow shrugged, "and I guess he saw something in me. I have no other family, no reason why the Demons chose to posses my parents and try and kill me. But," she giggled nervously, her insides churned as she spoke, she hated talking about it with a passion, but she couldn't ignore Castiels questions forever, "That day was the beginning of me as far as I'm concerned. Sam and Dean are my brothers, and Bobby is my dad more than John ever was... John was more of a mean uncle. But I love them."<br>"You were so young..." Castiel whispered, searching her eyes. "Are you happy?" he asked abruptly.  
>"I'm with Sam and Dean again, Bobby's good and I have you. I won't lie, I doubt I've ever been happier," she answered honestly, pulling her hair up into a ponytail, exposing a thin white scar stretching from beneath her ear to her shoulder.<br>"How did you do that?" Castiel whispered, behind her in seconds as he lent down and traced a line of kisses along her scar. Willow tugged at the baggy black jumper self-consciously, pulling it back over her shoulder.  
>"My parents did that," she whispered quietly before spinning around to face Castiel and she plastered on a fake smile, that reached her eyes when she noticed Castiel smiling back, looking almost proud as he held her in his arms.<br>"I have an idea," he said seriously, the smile sliding of his face and he led Willow outside and walked around Deans beloved car to the green clearing, the sun had already come up, spreading weak rays of sunshine which worked their way through the clouds making everything look eerier.  
>"I'm going to teach you how to fight an angel," he said emotionlessly as he pulled out his angelic silver coated dagger from inside his coat pocket and he dangled it in front of her, "I will get you one of these, but while I teach you..." he said distractedly, looking around him for a dagger and when he looked at Willow she already had her own dagger in her hand and was tying the strips of black leather over her knuckles, Castiel only raised his eyebrows at her as he placed his angelic dagger on the roof of Deans car carefully.<br>"What," Willow shrugged again, smiling impishly, "I like to be prepared."

Castiel sent a quick grin back, and then disappeared to the other side of the clearing with a blink, "Hey," Willow yelled, "That's cheating."  
>Castiel appeared behind her and gripped her neck softly, but they both knew that that was the quickest way to snap someone's neck, the irrational fear shivered down Willows spine as Castiel growled, and "I'm teaching you how to fight an angel to help you. So fight me properly," as he began to tighten his grip on her neck, Willow let herself go with what she knew. She threw herself back, nearly knocking Castiel of his feet and she ducked down and swung up, landing a punch on his lower jaw and as she pulled back with her leather clad fist, he disappeared and as she spun round to look for him, he swung his fist round and it collided with her nose but before he could take another clear shot he was distracted by Bobby, Sam and Dean all leaning on the bonnet of Deans car and just watching. Both Dean and Bobby looked as if they wanted to join in as well, while Sam. Sam just looked emotionless.<br>Willow took Castiels momentary surprise to her advantage, she took a small step back and raised the dagger above her head and ran forwards, but Castiel caught her hand with surprising ease, without even breaking a sweat. Willow smiled sweetly, before swinging forwards, jabbing her fist into his ribs, momentarily winding him, she pulled her arm out of his loose grasp but before she could do anything else he took a swing which connected with her head and knocked her flying, "this isn't fun," she moaned before pulling herself to her feet which was when she saw it. Castiel disappeared and reappeared to the left of her and she saw it, just before he disappeared, he ever so slightly twisted his body in the direction he ended up in, a small smile appeared on her face as she jumped to her feet and took a few steps backwards, and mockingly sashayed her hips at him throwing the dagger in the air and catching it and she saw it, just before he disappeared the he was going to attack from her right, before she even thought about what she was doing, or anything else for that matter, she spun on her heel and flung the dagger, which impaled Castiel in the chest.

His eyes bulged as he pulled it out, but not in pain or fear, but in surprise. He had faith in his beautiful war goddess, but at no point did him ever think that she could single handily take out an angel by herself.  
>"I'm so sorry," he could hear Willow cry as she flustered around him, her hair slowly but surely sliding out of her ponytail, when he realised what damage he'd done to her, he took a sharp intake of breath, until he was sure that he could contain his inwards anger enough to talk.<br>"No, I'm sorry," Castiel said huskily, cupping her face in his hands as he healed her, making all the blood on her face which came from her nose disappear in an instant.  
>"It's fine, don't worry," she said brushing It off, "did I do good?" she asked excitedly, an almost innocent grin appearing on her cheeks.<br>"Very," Castiel nodded, "better than I anticipated. That's good, I want to know you're safe."  
>"I told you," she punched his arm playfully, "I can take care of myself."<br>He didn't reply to Willow she looked to happy as she walked back into the tatty old house, he waited until everyone was inside before he began to talk, looking up at the murky grey sky.  
>"That's not fair," he glared at the heavens, "this is supposed to be my time off."<br>And with seemly no reply but to his ears, he disappeared, as the Demons broke in.


	8. Chapter 8

**As usual I don't own Supernatural. Sadly**

**But please R&R this chapter is bad in a way I know, but I'm busy most of this weekend and just wanted to give you guys something to read. I hope it's not that bad  
>Please R&amp;R<br>(Longer updates will begin again Monday!)**

He didn't reply to Willow she looked to happy as she walked back into the tatty old house, he waited until everyone was inside before he began to talk, looking up at the murky grey sky.  
>"That's not fair," he glared at the heavens, "this is supposed to be my time off."<br>And with seemly no reply but to his ears, he disappeared, as the Demons broke in.

"So you and Cas," Dean began as he pulled out a beer from the fridge as he leaned back on the counter, talking to Willow as she walked around the kitchen, pulling food from the cupboards, "you know the man's a fricken angel right?"  
>"No? I had no idea Dean tell me more," she said sarcastically, she glared daggers at Dean through her curtains of hair which was falling in front of her eyes while she was bending down to put the oven on. And in a split second the beer that was in Deans hand was gone and in Willows, who was in the process of standing on her tip toes and pushing it on top of the fridge while scowling at Dean.<br>"It's breakfast you do not need beer at breakfast."  
>"Sure I do," he grinned cockily, "It helps me start my day right."<br>"Dean Winchester, no beer at breakfast," she said calmly looking at him square in the eyes, "unless what? You want to fight me for it?"  
>"Dude," Sam interrupted as he walked into the kitchen, "she just killed an angel, I wouldn't fight her."<br>"She had a lucky shot," Dean mumbled.  
>"Lucky my ass, I destroyed him," she smiled as she moved a step to the side to open the fridge door, she felt hands behind her and a sharp pain in her stomach, as the familiar taste of blood came into her mouth, she collapsed to the floor. She heard yelling and gunshots around her and as much as she tried she couldn't pull herself to her feet. The last thing she remembered was the noise of gunshots as she slipped into the most welcomed state of unconsciousness.<p>

Willow opened her eyes with a start then shut them immediately after, the bright glare of the while hospital lights making her shiver as she said through grit teeth, "I hate hospitals."  
>"That's your greatest concern?" she could hear Deans voice cry, "Try to not get stabbed then, idiot."<br>"Yes because I got stabbed on purpose Dean?" she shook her head, her eyes still clenched shut and her knuckles white as she gripped on the metal sides of the bed.  
>"Least you're still sarcastic," Dean snorted.<br>Silence ensued for a few minutes until Sam walked in, "I just got off the phone to Cas he'll be here in a few, what are we going to tell Will when she wakes up?"  
>"I'm awake you bitch," she growled under her breath, "and I'm fine." And as soon as those words escaped her lips she felt as if she was going to pass out again, her insides felt like they were falling to the outside.<br>"I'm fine," she repeated through clenched teeth, she felt like she was swallowing all the bile to the back of her throat as the pain spread throughout her body.  
>She could hear who she assumed was the doctors' footsteps as she walked into her room and from the footsteps that followed she assumed that Dean and Sam walked out with him, she felt a surge of affection for them that they still remembered her habits, it made her heart swell.<br>She was left to ponder her own thoughts for a second until she heard her tortured angel cry, "I am so sorry," Castiel said as he sped across the room to her bed, and on impulse Willows eyes snapped open and she was met with his sorrowful blue glittering eyes glaring into hers as he kissed her hungrily. "I shouldn't have left," he said once he pulled back, his head resting on hers.  
>For a moment Willow didn't know what to say, she knew that he was capable of showing emotion, but not once did she think that he would let it show so clearly, she glanced up his face and he looked so guilty and upset that it made her heart bleed. She lifted her hand up to his face and held it there, "it's not your fault," she said calmly, trying to get him to meet her eyes, instead he just planted a kiss on her forehead and from that kiss it felt as if she was receiving an electric shock, which spread from her forehead all the way down her body, and once it cleared she realised what was missing. The crippling pain. She pulled herself upright and grinned at him, her hear aching as she noticed how sad his eyes still were.<br>"We need to stop meeting like this," she winked and looked down and grimaced at what she was wearing and rolled her eyes.  
>"Fucking hate hospitals," she growled again as she leaned back on the bed and shut her eyes, and for a second she felt Castiels arms around her and then they were gone but with surprise he opened her eyes and saw his coat around her, she pulled it closer and she savoured his smell, it made her feel safe. When she glanced up at him again, his face was emotionless and cold, looking at Sam and Dean who were standing sheepishly at the door.<p>

"We need to talk before we go," Sam said quietly while Dean shut the door. 


	9. Chapter 9

**As usual I don't own Supernatural. Sadly**

**But please R&R, all feedback welcome.  
>This takes place 4.20, Willow and Castiel need to see how they'd cope with losing each other before decisions start n'things<strong>

**I genuinely hope you enjoy.**

**Three months later**

"Just call Cas," Dean snapped at her, taking another swig of his beer, "He's not answering to us."  
>"Then he's busy," she said softly, her eyes scanning the pages in front of her as Alice In Wonderland pulled her back in to its dreaming world. Her dream however was cut short when Dean threw a crumpled piece of paper her way, just skimming the top of her head. She dragged her eyes away from the book and glared at him. "Dean seriously. He doesn't come when I call all the time, hell if he did he'd be here more often than he is now. I haven't seen him in two weeks either." Before bowing her head and returning to Lewis Carroll's world. She was once again interrupted by Dean, but this time he was standing beside her chair and was handing her a beer.<br>"I've been meaning to ask Will. You and Cas, how are you?" he asked hesitantly, refusing to meet her eyes.  
>"Really Dean," she snorted, marking the page she was on and placing the well read book down on the table, "We're going to talk about feelings?"<br>"It was just a question," he mumbled and walked back to his chair on the other side of the room, slouching down with his eyes shut.  
>"We're okay," Willow spoke up quietly, "I mean I miss him, and I worry. But I know he does too, and he comes when he can. That's important. We just have to... tread carefully."<br>"Woah," Dean sat up, his eyes wide staring at her, "you mean you two haven't..." he trailed off.  
>"The angels," she sighed frustrated, "there isn't supposed to be a me and Cas, we have to make sure he's safe first for his sake."<p>

"Good 'cause his was going to lead to the birds and the bees talk," he raised his eyebrows, the relief evident in his voice.  
>"Dean... really," she laughed, pulling her hair out of her pony tail and picking Alice in Wonderland, settling back in her chair, "I mean, I'm not exactly a virgin."<br>"What?" Dean said all but jumping out of his chair, at the same time Sam walked in carrying a bag full of takeout food.  
>"You get her to ask Cas yet?" Sam asked Dean, handing him pie and coffee, before handing Willows crumpets to her, "you still read that?" he asked, raising his eyebrows as he noticed the tatty cover, "I thought Dad threw it out ages ago."<br>"Please," she smirked under her breath, "I'm never going to lose this book," as she placed it down gingerly looking back up at Sam, "and I'm not going to call Cas, if he's not answering you then he's busy."  
>"But he gave you that if you ever need him," he nodded towards the circular ornate pendant hanging around her neck.<br>"No," she corrected him, "he gave me this for when I'm in danger. Not when we get stuck."  
>As she spoke Willows hand automatically dropped to the silver ornate pendant hanging around her neck, as she stroked the cold silver she remembered the day he gave it to her.<p>

_Flashback_

_I was busy picking my clothes out of the wardrobe, after spending so much time with Bobby's at one place I had picked up a large collection of clothes, too large to take on the road, the most heartbreaking process was deciding what I had to leave behind. I was mid way through chucking some already packed clothes out of the back to make room for some other clothes when Castiel appeared.  
>"You appear to be having fun," he almost smiled as I caught him watching me out of the corner of my eye, "that was sarcasm," he added, breaking out into a fully fledged smile.<br>"You're learning fast," I smiled at him, crossing the rooms as I laid my head on his chest, feeling his arms around me and his lips on my forehead, until we hurriedly pulled apart as I remembered how much danger even that simple gesture was putting him in.  
>He walked over to the bag on my bed and pulled out one of the many books I'd shoved in there, he looked at me questionably as he held up Alice In Zombie land, I shrugged and grinned, "It's good not as good as the original granted."<br>"Why are you bringing to many books?"  
>"I like books," I smiled and looked into his eyes, and the way that they'd changed since I'd met him a month ago. They were still the most beautiful shade of blue I'd ever seen but instead of them being cold and emotionless, they looked happy.<br>"I have to leave," he said sadly, ducking his head as he pulled something out of his trench coat, he silently handed it to me and kissed my cheek. He sighed as he pulled back, "I don't want you hunting, and you know that already. But I respect that it's what you want to do, just... Never take this off. I'll want to know you're safe." And with that he was gone and my room was empty.  
>I glanced down at the necklace in my hand and I felt my face slip into a girly grin. It was easily the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I circular pendant on a leather strap which hung to about the middle of my torso and as I looked at it closer I saw that engraved very finely on it was the Cherry Blossom tree that was in your dream. I pealed the note open and my chin nearly hit the floor, once I'd read what it said.<br>'Willow, in this pendant is a feather off my wings sealed inside, so I can always be sure that you are out of harm's way. Please be safe, I'll see you as soon as I can. Castiel."  
>(End flashback)<br>_

"You called?" Castiel said quietly as he appeared behind Willow, making her jump, his voice sounding so cold it made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.  
>She was aware of the blush spreading across her cheeks as she stood up nervously, the blush on her cheeks getting brighter when she felt Dean and Sam's eyes on her.<br>"Oh no," she mumbled, ducking her head down as she took a step towards him, "I was just uh – thinking."  
>"Good, because I can't help," he said emotionlessly, dropping a crumpled piece of paper onto the floor, his eyes boring into Willows. She gave him a slight nod and smiled softly just before he vanished.<br>"What the hell was that?" Dean exclaimed as she picked up his beer and began to pace, but Willow was already panicking. She dropped to the floor and flattened out the piece of paper Castiel left and growled quietly under her breath, she threw the note at Dean before swooping up the car keys and rushing out, taking the stairs a two at a time.  
>"Will," she heard Sam and Dean simultaneously yell after her, she dived into the car and put the keys in the engine, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel impatiently, her fingers shaking as the boys jumped into the car behind her.<br>"Will what's going on?" Sam asked, leaning forwards on the seat as Willow had to blink the tears out of her eyes as they sped down the motorway.  
>"I don't know," she snarled through grit teeth, "under the seat pull out the blades we'll be there in a minute."<br>Sam and Dean silently did as she said, silence hung in the air as Sam and Dean just exchanged terse glances with each other as they pulled into the deserted factory, Willow leaped out the car and snatched the silver angel blade from Sams lose grasp as she ran into the factory, kicking the discarded door down, she could hear Sam and Deans footsteps behind her and them yelling her to wait, and deep down she knew she should. The fact Castiel had made them sneak out was saying something, there was something going on and it could be anything or anyone but Willow just couldn't stop, the idea of something happening to him only made her run faster.  
>"Castiel," she cried as she noticed his body lying on a pile of debris, she glanced up at the blood drawn angel sign on the wall above him and made a mental note to ask him what it was, but her mind was drawn back to his unconscious body.<br>"Castiel," she shook him, "wake up."  
>She heard Sam and Dean appear behind her, they hesitantly stood behind her, as she shook him. "Cas stop it," she snapped at him, shaking him more viciously, which was when he jerked awake. Willow broke into a grin, and pulled his head into his arms, "you ass, never scare me like that -"<br>She didn't get to finish her sentence because he pushed her away, with all his strength, pushing her onto her bum as she flew backwards. He jumped to her feet and looked at them, confusion etched onto his features.  
>"Cas, take it easy," Dean spoke up.<br>"Oh, no," he said, looking around, looking more confused by the second.  
>"Cas, you okay?" Sam asked him, looking at Dean with raised eyebrows.<br>"Urgh, Castiel. I'm not Castiel. It's me," he said and Willow slowly pulled herself up to her feet and really looked at him. He was different, he no longer carried himself in that awkward way he usually did and his voice wasn't husky, it sounded light. Carefree and normal.  
>Willow took a deep breath in and spoke up, surprised at how shaky and meek her voice sounded, "You're not Cas are you. You're Jimmy."<br>"Yes, I'm Jimmy."  
>"Well where the hell is Cas?" she snapped, anger taking over her body, replacing all the despair and fear.<br>"He's gone," Jimmy said plainly, smiling at Dean and Sam, but refusing to meet Willows eyes, none of them were.  
>"No," she whispered, turning around and went to punch the wall instead of punching Jimmy's smug face for letting him go, but the anger disappeared as suddenly as it appeared and instead there was just a numb feeling left in its wake. <p>


	10. Chapter 10

**As usual I don't own Supernatural. Sadly**

**But please R&R, all feedback welcome.  
>This takes place 4.20, Willow and Castiel need to see how they'd cope with losing each other before decisions start n'things<strong>

**I genuinely hope you enjoy.  
>Thankyou for your reviews Cloudgirl9, they make me happy, finished this chapter just for you :'}<br>Review!**

"Well where the hell is Cas?" she snapped, anger taking over her body, replacing all the despair and fear.  
>"He's gone," Jimmy said plainly, smiling at Dean and Sam, but refusing to meet Willows eyes, none of them were.<br>"No," she whispered, turning around and went to punch the wall instead of punching Jimmy's smug face for letting him go, but the anger disappeared as suddenly as it appeared and instead there was just a numb feeling left in its wake.  
>"Willow," Dean said, she turned to face him and her face warped into a grotesque smile, and Dean at that moment felt totally helpless, Willow was rapidly blinking the tears away and trying to smile. Trying to get everyone to leave.<br>"Dean," she shook her head, "I can't okay. I just can't." 

Willow had no idea how she got back to the motel, she just knew that she was soaking wet and her head felt empty. She was watching the not-Castiel eat a hamburger, moaning with every morsel which passed his lips, a grin breaking through every time he cleared his mouth and the fact he was happy, and alive and not _him_ hurt her more than anything else.  
>"You mind slowing down? You're going to give me angina," Dean said, pushing back on his chair, casting nervous looks at Willow every now and then and then looking at Sam with worried eyes and Willow hated it.<p>

They sympathy was the worse; she wanted them to think she was okay so she could pretend around them, but they knew. They saw through her. She knocked the glass of straight Vodka back and grimaced as the liquid burnt the back of her throat.  
>"I'm hungry," she heard Castiel say; in a voice that wasn't his. She had to constantly remind herself it wasn't him.<br>"When's the last time you ate?" Sam asked frowning.  
>"I don't know," he said between mouthfuls, "months."<br>He continued moaning, Sam and Dean exchanged looks but remained silent, Sam put his head in his hands and Dean just lent back. The not-Castiel looked down at his food and smiled, a innocent grin which changed his face - so to Willow he no longer looked like her Castiel and she snapped.  
>"Well what the fuck happened?" She snapped, slamming the glass down on the table, and kicking her chair out as she began pacing, the drips of water falling off her hair making a trail behind her.<br>"All I remember was there was this light, and I was me again," he said, staring at Willow.  
>"That's really fucking helpful," she snapped, she tried to glare at him but she couldn't, she looked into his eyes momentarily and her heart broke. His eyes although they were still blue, they were just that – blue. Not Castiels glittering and bottomless and mesmerising, just dull human blue.<br>"I'm sorry, I don't remember anything," he sighed, shrugging and spreading his hands in a helpless gesture.  
>"Nothing at all?" Dean said, pouring himself his own glass of Vodka.<br>"Having an angel inside of you, it's kind of like being chained to a comet."  
>"That doesn't sound like too much fun," Sam said sympathetically.<br>"No," Willow snapped, taking a few menacing steps forwards towards Jimmy, jabbing the hair in front of him, "don't even bitch. You knew what you were getting involved for. Cas told me, he felt terrible but you said yes so don't you even dare say a bad word against him you bastard," her voice fell quiet and low as she all but whispered, "he wanted to tell us something. Remember what it was?"  
>"I'm sorry," he repeated, not daring to meet her eyes.<br>"Well then _Jimmy_," she snarled, "you sir, you can go fuck yourself."  
>And before anyone could reply, Willow stormed out, grabbing her discarded coat and cigarette packet from her bed before storming out, letting the tears fall freely now, mingling with the rain as she ducked under the tree, trying to light the cigarette but the wind was pushing her about like a rag doll so the flame had no chance, she tried for a minute before throwing the lighter into the wall, "<em>fuck<em>," she screamed out of frustration and she fell to her knees letting the tears fall as she pressed down hard on the pendant. "Cas," she cried, "please. You promised, Castiel you promised me please. You said you'd never hurt me so don't leave me, I can't, I was so close to telling you, so close to letting you in, thinking about our future, I have _never_ thought about the future but I looked forward to it with you, but now I can't think about it without you. So don't you dare fucking leave me, ever. I love you so much you fool, please come back, I don't care how just come back to me Castiel." 

"Will, come on, get up," Sam was yelling, the sunshine was working its way through the curtains and she winced and rolled over, face planting the floor.  
>"How did I even get here..." she groaned, ignoring the waves of nausea as she stumbled to her feet, noticing the bottle of tequila spilt across her covers.<br>"You stumbled back in, about three I suppose," Dean said, pulling her by the elbow and pushing her into the bathroom, "You've got five minutes. Sam here, he let Jimmy escape. You've got five minutes to get ready and I'll get your stuff."

"So you're telling me," Willow said as she sorted her gun out as they sped down the narrow country lanes to the address Bobby gave them for Jimmy's house, "that the Demons are going after him because they think we're stupid enough to let him out of our sight if he knew something," she snorted, but with raised eyebrows at Sam she added as an afterthought, "maybe we were."  
>The next ten minutes of the car journey were made in silence, and Willow did everything that she could think of to distract herself – clean out her gun, braid her hair, clean her array of daggers – anything to stop herself from thinking.<br>"Crap," Dean mumbled as he leapt out the car, closely followed by Sam and Willow, each of them taking the safety off their weapons as they quietly pushed the unlocked door open and with no surprise the demons had beaten them there.  
>Before Willow could think about it, she was pulling the Demon that was on top of Jimmy away, and using the ornate dagger Ruby had entrusted in them to slit his throat open, ignoring the fact that his blood then spurt all down her, she dragged Jimmy to his feet and looked over at Dean who alongside Sam was fighting with the other Demon.<br>"Get them outside now," Dean yelled in between hits, once those words escaped his lips she grabbed Claire and all but dragged her outside, with Jimmy running up behind her, Willow shoved Claire in the back, and ducked her head as she ran around Jimmy.  
>"Where's your wife?" Willow asked staring at the door with her hand with the knife in at chest height, waiting for something to run out.<br>"Right here," she smiled and something inside Willow clicked, she wasn't sure what it was or why but she had such a strong feeling to just leave her behind, maybe stab her before doing so, but before she could lash out and do anything impulsive Sam and Dean came running out the house.  
>"Sit you're daughter on your lap, and squish together," before she dived into the driver's side and with one switch the Impalas engine was roaring and they sped away as soon as Dean and Sam shut their doors. <p>

They stopped a few miles out of town at a gas store, Willow went in with Claire to buy some more cigarettes for herself and a sweet for Claire, even Dean seemed to notice that although she refused to speak a word to Jimmy or his wife, she was friendly enough to their kid.  
>"You were right," Jimmy spoke up, hanging his head as he remained in the back seat.<br>"I'm sorry we were," Dean said sadly, looking up at him, "and we believe that you don't know anything but they don't care."  
>Willow walked up behind them with a lit cigarette with Claire who she told quietly to go and find her mum, "which means," she spoke up, "sadly you'll have to come with us. Unless you want to put your family in danger <em>again<em>," she held her hand up as he went to open his mouth to talk, "and before you ask dumbass, it'll be forever. They will never stop. You can't be with your family, or they'll die. So how about you put a bullet through your head or get as far away from them as possible, because that's how they'll be safe." Before she walked off, letting the cold air cling to her skin and calm her down. Behind her she could hear Dean explain, apologise for her behaviour, and that it was a defence mechanism, and then there was the worst bit. Jimmy's goodbyes, to his wife and her pleading, it made her feel sick. She looked back and saw them embrace and she walked off, cursing as the tears threatened to overflow again so instead she walked over to Sam who was hotwiring the car, he looked pale and shaky but Willow knew without even seeing her reflection that she looked no better so instead she just kept her mouth shut.

An hour later and Willow was sitting in the front of the Impala next to Dean, with Jimmy and Sam in the back, she was vaguely aware that she shouldn't be sleeping, that her dreams were no longer protected, but by the time she thought of this her eyes were already shut. Luckily thought it was Jimmy who saved her as his voice rose to a little over a yell as she heard the doors open.  
>"Stay calm? This is my family we're talking about."<br>Willow groggily got to her feet and smiled up at the rain, letting it wash over her and wake her up as Dean chucked a gun to her over the roof of the car, "Useless telling you to wait outside and get the runners isn't it?" he whispered to her as he walked over, while Sam explained the plan yet again to Jimmy.  
>"Yes, I can do this."<br>"Will... You lost Castiel."  
>"I know," she hissed, "and I will die trying to get him back if I have to, but right now we're doing this, so let's do it."<br>"They won't expect him to come alone," Sam said as soon as Jimmy disappeared.  
>"I know, we'll just have to fight our way out," and looked outraged at Willow and Sams raised eyebrows. "What it's the only plan I could come up with," he defended himself. Willow just shook her head and sighed.<br>"Come on then," she mumbled, as she slipped through a gap in the door, she was aware of the light footsteps behind her which comforted her, she felt at her safest working jobs with people, especially Dean and Sam. She stopped still as she heard heavy footsteps to her left; she held her hand up and pointed left so Sam and Dean could see before hesitantly looking around the corner.  
>Which was when she noticed the demon, he was grinning at her, as he lunged forwards she ducked and ran the other way, noticing that Dean and Sam were in their own miniature fights, she spun around to look at the demon and realised how much of a tiny chance she had of winning, he was at least two foot taller than her and a hundred pounds heavier and she thought though, that she was doing quite well, all she had to do was find an opening in his defence then stab him, but once she let a single hit slide through her blocks, she felt sick, everything around her was threatening to go black and as soon as she regained full consciousness again, she had her arms pinned behind her back, behind dragged along a dimly lit corridor.<br>"Dean, Sam," Willow said panicking, trying to flick the hair out of her eyes which had gotten wet from the blood which was pouring from the cut above her eyebrow.  
>"Will, it's okay," Sam tried to say comfortingly put was cut short as they were thrown out into the light, still with their arms pinned behind their backs, as she noticed Claire tied to a chair on the opposite end of the room, Jimmy was standing towards the edge of the room, staring gobsmacked at his wife, who had black eyes and was holding the gun in her hand.<br>"Fucking hell," Willow laughed grimly, tilting her head to look at Dean, "I told you there was something."  
>"So you did," Jimmy's possessed wife Amelia said calmly, standing in front of Willow, glaring into her eyes. "You nearly messed everything up," before striking her with the handle of the gun, cutting the other side of her head open too, but instead of reacting Willow just laughed.<br>"You know what's funny?" Willow taunted, "You're wearing a soccer mum."  
>"You know what's funny?" Amelia asked, using the gun to pull Willows top up and stoke her stomach, "you giving birth to Satan Jr."<br>Willow glared into her black eyes and spat in her face, flinging her head forwards and hearing the satisfying crunch of her nose breaking.  
>"And do you want to hear the punch line?" Amelia said, holding the gun to Willows forehead, "everyone dies."<br>Before spinning the gun around and shooting Jimmy in the stomach.  
>Willow knew that Amelia was talking, she also knew that it wasn't really Castiel who was shot, but he was in pain and his face was contorted as blood began to seep out and Willow hadn't ever felt any more helpless then she did in that second.<br>And within a second that all changes, after a flash of bright white light which gives Willow something to fight for. That's angel light and that could mean anything, she thought and saw her opportunity in that second. The demons holding them were surprised which made them easy to throw off and kill, in a matter of moments, Willow glanced over her shoulder and saw Jimmy and Claire talking, and as much as she wanted to go over and find out what was going on. Sam and Dean was busy exorcising Amelia crazy bitch, and Willow was trying her hardest to keep her relatively still.

Once they'd exorcised Amelia, Sam helped her to get to her feet and Willow turned round to find that Claire was on all fours and the not-Castiel was on his feet, Willow cocked her head then ran forwards. There was no coherent thought going through her head, except that was Castiel.  
>She ran up to him and slapped him around the face, "You bitch," she cried, "You actual ass, if you ever, ever make we worry that much again I <em>swear -"<em>

Castiel however held up his hands and walked past her, and Amelia who looked as if she still has a small amount of hope in her eyes before looking into Dean's eyes, "I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve heaven, I don't serve man, and I certainly don't serve you," before walking away.  
>Dean looked at first her and then Sam confused, Willow shook her head slightly and ran forwards just as she saw Castiel turn around the corner, and she ran around the corner and stopped dead on her feet. It was empty – the corridor was empty and she was alone, her heart felt as if it was falling to the floor before she felt the hands around her waist, spinning her around and Castiel was there, pushing her back into a wall, hungrily kissing her lips, rejoicing at the feel of her silky skin. He pulled away from her for a moment as he pulled her legs up around his waist and began trailing kisses along her neck, "I missed you so much," he murmured, "I have to be more careful, make sure they're not watching."<br>Willow moaned in reply at how amazing his little kisses and nibbles felt along her jaw line before she pulled his face back up two hers, kissing him furiously as he felt her hands slide up her top, his hands making her shiver with pleasure with skin on skin contact.  
>"I love you so much," she whispered into his ear as she began to bite her neck, giggling as she heard him moan under his breath, as he pulled her closer to his body, kissing her hungrily before pulling away and resting his forehead on hers.<br>"I love you more my goddess, but I must leave they're returning. Tell Dean I'll explain," he said hurriedly and with one last kiss he put Willow firmly back onto her feet, "I'll see you in your dreams," and with one more quick glance he was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

**As usual I don't own Supernatural. Sadly**

**But please R&R, all feedback welcome.  
>I genuinely hope you enjoy.<strong>

**Review!**

"I love you more my goddess, but I must leave they're returning. Tell Dean I'll explain," he said hurriedly and with one last kiss he put Willow firmly back onto her feet, "I'll see you in your dreams," and with one more quick glance he was gone.

Willow put the cigarette to her lips and took a deep drag, before breathing it out, watching the smoke mingle in the clear night air before flicking the butt away and pulling herself back inside, she glanced at Dean who was fast asleep on the couch, then to Bobby who was fighting the urge to close his eyes as he sat at his desk pouring over books to help her alongside a half awake Sam. She turned her back on them, the guilt settling in her stomach as she knew that they were searching a way to save her, from her _destiny_ she thought to herself sourly as she curled into a small ball on the couch putting her headphones on full blast, singing softly under her breath as she opened the fourth Harry Potter books, clichéd or not – she liked them.  
>Willow fought the urge to stay awake, not wanting to bother Castiel with the bother of protecting her dreams or waking her, so that was how she stayed, singing softly until the sun began to rise, casting an eerie shadow over everything, the fog hanging low in the air. Sam and Bobby had long since moved up to bed, and Dean hadn't moved an inch, prompting Willow to go and check him once or twice but despite his stillness he was alive.<br>Willow stood up and went to her room, trying to sneak as well as she could through the creaky house as to not wake the boys, she smiled to herself when she realised that Bobby hadn't tried to clean up which used to be his cack handed way of showing he cared when she first began to stay there, instead he'd simply just put up another mirror. She knew it wasn't that much of a good thing that he'd gotten used to her random outbursts and no longer asked questions but she knew that he cared which was enough. When she was ready she'd tell him everything, it was the least she owed him.  
>Willow got dressed as quietly as she could, pulling a pair of tight, black high wasted shorts and a black and grey checked shirt before strolling out of the house towards a derelict row of shooting targets.<p>

Once she was there she let her mind fall back to when she was eight years old and first fired a gun, she remembered that on one side she had Bobby telling her it was okay when she missed her first shot, and to just try again, but she knew that on the other side that John was moaning about her not being good enough, not trying, with Sam and Dean stood awkwardly in the middle. She grinned at them memories, in a peculiar sort of way, she knew Johns attitude helped her to become a better hunter, she was constantly trying to prove him wrong, and although demons seemed to follow her more than anything else she'd ever seen, she'd yet to be put in the dirt by one.

She sighed, taking the safety off her gun as she held it up to shoulder height, bracing herself for the recoil when she heard a footstep behind her, she cocked her head to the side and listened carefully, at the very last second she spun around to find Castiel behind her looking pale and out of breath.  
>"They'll notice I'm gone soon," he said, pressing a finger to her lips, "I need you to come with me, understand?"<br>And without waiting for an answer, he pressed two fingers on Willows forehead and she was no longer in Bobby's back garden, instead she was in what seemed to be, the front room to a mansion. 

"Cas, what's going on?" she asked him, her worried eyes searching his and it pained Castiel to lie to her, but the words were stumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.  
>"Nothing, nothing. Well I mean there is something that I can't tell you."<br>Castiel winced after the words finished falling, and it seemed that at the same time Balthazar appeared, holding two glasses of Scotch.  
>"Ah Castiel," he said with a grand British accent, "not finished falling yet I see, the rules still clinging on?" he asked raising his eyebrows before turning to face Willow, his eyes raking her up and down before nodding at her to sit. She glanced at the cream leather sofa behind her and stood up defiantly.<br>"I'd rather stand," she said coldly, her eyes on Castiels breathless form, his eyes half shut and paler than she'd ever seen him before.  
>"Fine by me," Balthazar said carefree placing one of the glasses on the glass table in front of Castiel and raising the other to his lips, before taking a swig then continuing, "It seems like dear Cas here is taking a rather hard fall from heaven. He'll be fine," he added in an offhand manner, "apparently however, he needed for me to talk to you, before for the next few days he still won't be able to talk about it. You see," he said, leaning forwards and smirking up at Willow, "That heaven hasn't wanted you to know some things, well quite a few I'd say. When an archangel gives an order, so severe that other angels can't break it – well it's actually impossible for them to break it. The archangels, they can't do it all the time though you know. You see it totally drains them of power for a few days, which leaves them open for attack. But you should know this," he shrugged, leaning back and looking at Castiels pleading blue eyes before continuing, "as who am I to say no to dear old Cas? You have Lucifers grace, inside you."<br>Willow had no idea what to say, she didn't know what the etiquette was when a fallen angel told you that you had a powerful part of Satan inside of you, so instead of answering, she just stumbled backwards and sat on the chair, looking up at Castiel as he handed her his Scotch, dreading what she must look like for him to be looking at her with such a worried expression on his face. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Balthazar spinning his glass and musing off into the distance, until Castiel opened his mouth and looked at Willow with intense blue eyes, "talk," was all he said, his voice so full of sadness that Willow opened her mouth before she even knew what to say.  
>She took a deep breath in and regained her composure, pulling a cigarette packet out of her pocket and looking at Balthazar, "you mind?" she asked in the calmest voice she could muster.<br>He shook his head and nodded towards the ashtray, once she'd lit her cigarette and down the half glass of Scotch she spoke up again, "I have Lucifers _grace_," she tried to nod calmly, but her movements came out jerky, "What, does that make me evil?"  
>"No, no, no," Balthazar said standing up, smiling at her, "it means once you train to use that grace you'll be unstoppable, but poor old Lucy does want his grace back, sadly it'll make him unstoppable too, so you can't let that happen, it would also explain why you're the top of the list for breeding the new Satan too."<br>"Why me?" she asked, her voice horse as she looked at Castiel, who was looking healthier by the second.  
>"It's in your blood, remember Lucifer was an angel once and when he fell, his grace along with it. Only now in the time of the apocalypse will it show," Castiel said huskily, pressing his forehead on hers, "but that doesn't make you evil."<br>Willow placed her head in her hands and took another deep breath, each time she did so though they seemed less calming, she run her hand through her hair and looked up at Balthazar and smiled, holding out her hand, "I'm sorry, I don't think we've had the pleasure to meet before, my name is Willow Winchester."  
>Balthazar seemed confused at the sudden changed but took a step forwards anyway, loosely shaking her hand, "I'm Balthazar; one of Castiels many older brothers, and he has told me all about you. Seems like you have been leading my brother here astray," he smiled, clasping Castiels shoulder.<br>"I've done no such thing," she laughed falsely, tapping her leg restlessly on the floor, smiling when Castiel looked at her with them damn perceiving eyes.  
>"Balthazar, could you give us a moment?" he asked seriously, and with a gracious nod from Balthazar he nodded, and then disappeared.<br>"What is it?" she smiled as chirpily as she could.  
>"Stop, you don't have to pretend around me," he said quietly, searching her emerald eyes.<br>"I do," she whispered back, pulling her knees to her chest, "I am so afraid Cas, afraid of being bad. I have Lucifers grace that means I'm dangerous. I mean shit, what I get someone killed?" she sighed, standing up, "but being scared doesn't solve anything, I'll talk to the Winchesters later, when they've slept properly. And you can tell me all about falling," she took his hand and planted a kiss on his forehead, "but send me home? I'm assuming you want to sort something out here, and I should be getting back anyway."  
>And with a short nod and a smile, Willow was standing in her messy room at Bobby's.<p>

An hour later, and the house was still silent with no hint of the boys waking up any time soon, so Willow decided that instead of sneaking quietly around the house, to have a bath and try to relax. She looked in her mirror and saw the bags under her eyes and frowned as she climbed into the bath, the hot water reaching to her neck when she lied down. She began to try to think about everything that happened that day but she couldn't seem to concentrate. It wasn't that she wasn't afraid, or that she didn't understand about how her carrying Lucifers grace around with her like a time bomb was dangerous, it was just she was so used to being afraid about Lucifer and how she was meant to spawn miniature satans that all the Lucifer fears were locked inside a neat little box at the edge of her mind – instead she found herself thinking about Castiel and what Balthazar had said. She knew from what Castiel had told her before that Balthazar had fallen long ago, but earlier, although he seemed in pain, and afraid he also seemed a lot less hesitant and emotional – is that what he'd be like if he falls?  
>After a while she realised that the water had gone cold and that she had to pull herself out of the bath, feeling more rested then she had in weeks.<br>She shook her hair with the towel until most of her hair was just damp, before she dried off her body, she bent down and pulled a pair of lacy black knickers on while throwing the towel on the rack, she bent down to scoop up her bra when the smell of the ocean hit her. She stood up and turned around slowly to see Castiel who was standing by the door, staring at Willows practically naked body. Willow smiled to herself as she saw a blush appear on Castiels cheeks as she took a small step forwards so they were touching.  
>"You know," she smiled, "you're lucky everyone's asleep or they'd gut you for not knocking."<br>Castiel opened his mouth, and then closed it again, gulping as he felt the blush in his cheeks get hotter as he tried to keep his eyes on her face, but instead kept dropping down to her perfect body.  
>"Do I make you nervous?" she whispered quietly, closing whatever gap there was between them and kissing him, and for once he kissed her back with such passion it almost frightened her. In a hurry she slid his trench coat and blazer off, they separated for a second so Castiel could take his tie off and in a blink, they weren't in the steamy bathroom anymore, they were next to Willows bed in her room. Castiel pushed her onto the bed, his kisses no longer awkward and hesitant but passionate and demanding, Willow pulled away for a second as Castiel moved down to kissing her neck, finding all the right places to make her moan.<br>"Door," she whispered, trying to formulate a full sentence, but Castiels little touches and kisses kept throwing her mind off whatever train of thought it was on.  
>Castiel moved one hand in a moving gesture as their lips met again, and Willow vaguely heard the door shut and a small click meaning it was locked, but she was more concerned about getting Castiel undressed as quickly as possible. Pretty soon they were both naked, and Castiel seemed to find it quiet easy to find the right spots to make her moan his name in a way that made him shiver with excitement, as in one hand he held her breast and in the other her hair as she dragged her nails on his back, making him moan into her mouth. She pushed him over so she was straddling him, she paused for a second, looking into his eyes, "I don't want to rush you or anything," she said quietly.<br>"I love you, Willow Winchester, you're not," he replied, sealing what he said with the sweetest kiss.  
>Before losing his virginity to who he considered to be the girl of his dreams.<p>

_Three hours later  
><em>"Do you think Willow is sleep?" Dean asked, knocking this third beer back.  
>"I don't know," shrugged Sam as he mulled over a book, "why doesn't Bobby have anything in English?" He sighed, exasperated.<br>"Because Sam -" began Dean smiling, before Castiel appeared in the middle of the room.  
>"Cas," began Dean, "why are you not wearing a shirt?"<br>Castiel merely smiled at them, as she strode over to the fridge pulling out a large bar of chocolate before shutting it again, the grin still spread across his cheeks.  
>"Cas man, why are you so happy?" asked Sam, smiling at Castiels smile, it surprised Sam how different the angel looked happy.<br>"I believe," he said, still smiling, "that you would call it popping my cherry." Before disappearing, the Winchester boys looked at each other before hearing a loud bump upstairs, before the cries of;  
>"Cas no, I'm sorry okay? Seriously," they could hear Willow laugh from down the stairs, mixed with her high pitched squeals, "No more pillow fights okay?"<br>Before looking at each other with identical looks of horror.

**I hope it wasn't that bad. I hope you enjoyed, I'll update again soon!**


	12. Chapter 12

**As usual I don't own Supernatural. Sadly**

**But please R&R, all feedback welcome.  
>I genuinely hope you enjoy.<strong>

**Review!**

"I believe," he said, still smiling, "that you would call it popping my cherry." Before disappearing, the Winchester boys looked at each other before hearing a loud bump upstairs, before the cries of;  
>"Cas no, I'm sorry okay? Seriously," they could hear Willow laugh from down the stairs, mixed with her high pitched squeals, "No more pillow fights okay?"<br>Before looking at each other with identical looks of horror.

"We need to tell them," whispered Willow as she looked up to Castiel with huge green eyes and he felt his heart flutter, although she'd only slept for five hours she looked more alive already, the black circles under her eyes were already beginning to fade and the colour in her cheeks returning, but they both knew that he could only protect her for so long.  
>Castiel smiled down at what he hoped to be comfortingly at her, "I know, I'll be ready when you are."<br>"When do you think you can talk about it?" she asked, equally as quietly.  
>"Three day. I tried so hard to tell you," he murmured quietly, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, planting a small kiss on her forehead, stroking the small of her back as she pressed her slim naked body onto his.<br>"I know," she smiled up at him as she leant in for a kiss, "We'll manage."

"Willow Lilly Winchester get your ass out of that shower and down here," Bobby yelled up the stairs as Dean and Sam exchanged terse looks at each other as they could hear Willows muffled unintelligible reply.  
>"Bobby I was out of the shower like an hour ago, you need your ears tested," Willow said as she jumped down the stairs her damp hair flying out behind hair as she looked up at him with her emerald eyes.<br>"Who's in the shower then?" Bobby asked frowning.  
>"Cas," Willow said quietly, smiling cheerfully at them, a dimple appearing on her left cheek and she looked around and laughed at the shocked expression on all three of their faces. "What?" she grinned, tugging a discarded red and black checked shirt on.<br>"Cas is in the shower," Dean said raising his eyebrows and at the same time Sam said in an equally surprised tone;  
>"You're so happy."<br>Willow raised her eyebrows as she carried on grinning as she heard the bathroom door upstairs open. "I told Castiel about how amazing showers are when you stressed and he wanted to try," she glanced at Bobby quickly, "I told him that was okay," before continuing, "the whole falling thing, I think he just feels bad, it's complicated."  
>She hurriedly finished her sentence as she heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs, "and I'm allowed to be happy aren't I," she carried grinning up at Castiel and Dean caught her eye and for a second the saw some emotion flash in front of her eyes that he couldn't quiet but his finger on but before he could say anything Castiel was beside her.<br>"What seems to be the matter?" Castiel asked his voice husky as he cocked his head, clasping Willows hand for a second before walking on the other side of the room.  
>"We've got information," Bobby spoke up, "on this demon called Asmodeus," he carried on speaking from the book on the desk, "he's mentioned in the Book of Tobias, he's meant to be a prince of hell, and in charge of lust from the Seven Deadly sins."<br>"Where?" Willow asked, her voice cold as everyone looked up at her in alarm, her eyes set in stone as she pulled the knife from her back pocket, "where the fuck is he?"  
>"Will-" began Dean in alarm, standing up slightly while everyone else looked at her in alarmed silence.<br>"Where the fuck is he?" she cried, her voice growing close to hysteria holding the knife up to her chest with her arm held out as Castiel moved towards her.  
>"Don't," her voice was low and dangerous, "he needs to die. I am going to fucking murder the bitch."<br>Castiel ignored her warnings and walked towards her, she slowly moved her arm down until her arm dropped her arm down to her side as he gripped her shoulders.  
>"Willow, what's wrong," he asked quietly, his crystal clear blue eyes boring into hers and Willow flinched away from him ducking her head as she lowered her eyes.<br>"No," she whispered and everyone in the room clung to her words, the tension in the room making their hairs stand on end, "I can't," she carried on, tears streaming down her face, "you can't know. It's dirty."  
>"Know what?" Dean said quietly walking over towards her, Castiel stepped aside and watched Dean comfort Willow in ways he didn't think he ever good, he knew that already she depended on him, like he did with her, but with Dean she was different, he couldn't explain how he just knew it was, they went further back, she had more faith in the fact she'd never lose him.<br>Dean shook Willows shoulders and peered into her eyes their green eyes clashing as he raised his eyebrows, "you can tell us anything," he said so honestly which made Willows heart melt and churn at the same time, her thoughts were swimming in her head as she tried to make a smile appear.  
>Willow stepped out of Deans grasp as she slid to her knees, shutting her eyes for a second until out of nowhere Bobbys hand appeared in front of her with a neat glass of vodka, Castiel and Sam exchanged a terse look with one and other before diverting their gaze back to Willows slouching body.<br>Her voice was raspy as she spoke, barely above a whisper, "I was only just sixteen and you and John were away on a hunt," she glanced at Dean, "and Sam was at college. I was in a shitty motel trying to watch TV but I was so scared, you and John were on a big demon hunt – do you remember? You destroyed Asmodeus nest before, it was one of our biggest hunts back then but you wouldn't let me come, John was all for it, but I was pretty beat up from hunting a rouge Vampire before the demon case so you point blank refused to let me go with you. I was sitting in the motel," she said quietly, "when there was this banging on the door, with your voice and I was so scared that you were hurt so I opened the door and it wasn't you. It was him, I had no idea who he was but he wasn't alone – I knew they were demons but I couldn't get my gun and they tied me down," her voice became emotionless as she continued, "they beat me, remember? I never told you the rest, or who it was I was too scared. I couldn't think about losing you, or saying _anything_ I felt so worthless. They tied me down and beat me senseless, laughing, saying I was special and my body asked for it. They took turns Dean," she cried her cold eyes meeting his as he still stared at her. "And I cried and begged and fought, but I couldn't get them off me and they didn't stop and it hurt so much. Their hands were all over me and their jeers, that's what I have nightmares about, they always said they'd come back. And then they just left, just got up and walked out and I was just lying there and I felt so dirty and _worthless_," she was cut short by the noise of smashing glass as it seemed like Bobby threw a discarded bottle at the wall, his face red with contained anger.  
>Willow glanced up licking her lips, with fear etched in her eyes as she tried to gauge their reactions. Sam was stunned in silence his eyes wide as he looked into the distance, Dean was biting his lip, trying to keep the anger inside him boiled inside while Castiel just walked from where he was sitting and pulled Willow into his arms and kissed her head, "no one here blames you," he said as calmly as he could, his anger boiled underneath the surface, "you overcame that you are so strong and they will all die."<br>"They will," she agreed quietly, "I'm better than I was then. I'll kill them."

"You sure you can do this?" Sam asked, turning on his seat to stare at Willow who was in Castiel arms the Demon killing knife in her grasp as Dean pulled up opposite the supposed derelict building that Rufus had told Bobby Asmodeus was in.  
>"Yes," she said calmly, meeting Sam's eyes and sharing a small smile before leaping out the care with Castiel behind her. <p>

**Just in case you didn't get it, yes Willow was raped and at first it was going to be more graphic I suppose, but I didn't think it fit with the tone, especially what happens in the next chapter. Ooooohhhhhh.  
>Please review and tell me if you like it xox<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**As usual I don't own Supernatural. Sadly**

**But please R&R, all feedback welcome.  
>I genuinely hope you enjoy.<strong>

**Review!**

"You sure you can do this?" Sam asked, turning on his seat to stare at Willow who was in Castiel arms the Demon killing knife in her grasp as Dean pulled up opposite the supposed derelict building that Rufus had told Bobby Asmodeus was in.  
>"Yes," she said calmly, meeting Sam's eyes and sharing a small smile before leaping out the car with Castiel behind her. <p>

Willow was coming out of unconsciousness when she registered the screaming, and for a moment she didn't realise who it was, or what they were saying, she was still content with the waves of blackness that was washing over her, but she knew she had to wake up and with a stupid amount of energy spent she opened her eyes and registered where she was which was seemingly just in a corridor. She could see Sam's dark brown eyes peering though the gap in the metal door as she jumped to her feet.  
>"Will," Sam yelled happily, and she heard Castiel in the other cell calling her name. The cell next to Sam was empty but the one next to that was the one with Castiel trapped inside ring of blue fire his eyes dark and petrifying as he paced his small gap which the ring of fire allowed him too.<br>"How can I get you out?" she asked, her voice shaky as she ran a hand through her hair, running to and from both their cells, checking that they were okay.  
>"You don't," Castiel said bluntly, "they'll be here soon. We'll get out, you get out now."<br>"No," she said stubbornly, searching her pockets desperately, shaking in frustration as she realised her pockets were empty, her head snapped out when she heard footsteps coming from the other end of the corridor.  
>"Run," she heard Dean yell, banging on the doors, "run, get out. Now!"<br>Willow let out a startled cry as she saw him when she turned around the corner. It was Asmodeus, who looked exactly the same ever. He had dark hair which made his frame look paler, his eyes permanently black with stubble across his face and a small grin playing on his lips, as he noticed her.  
>"Ah," he smiled, opening his arms, two demons appearing behind Willow, throwing her into the middle cell, "we've been waiting for you. You've grown up well."<br>Willow tried to stand to her feet but one of the demons who threw her into the cell kicked her in the stomach, she felt her ribs crack as his foot connected and she doubled over with pain.  
>"Willow Lilly Winchester, you look older," Asmodeus smiled, with a small wave of his hands shutting the cell door, only a slit of light escaping the door illuminating the dingy cement cell.<br>"Leave me alone," she cried, pulling herself to her feet as she backed herself into a corner, she could hear Dean and Sam yelling from one side and Castiel yelling on the other, and her heart felt as if it was being stabbed hearing the pain in their voices, and knowing it was down to her.  
>"Oh now then Willow," he walked up to her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and stroking her cheek making her shudder, "I love your hair like this, much better than when I last saw you, makes you look more mature," he pulled on a handful of her hair and threw her to the ground, discarded dust flying on her face as she coughed and stuttered.<br>"All the better when I have my _wicked_ way with you," he laughed, pinning her down on the ground and forcing her hands above her head, pulling up on her top as she screamed;  
>"Cas, Cas, Dean, Sam, please. Please Castiel I can't - not again, get the fuck off me," she screamed, her voice horse as she thrashed beneath him, her words tumbling out of her mouth all at once as the world before her went blurry. She could hear their voices around her and she winced at the pain that they sounded in because of her but she couldn't seem to stop her pleas falling from her mouth.<br>"Do you like what I've done with the place? They can hear everything," he whispered into her ear, before pulling her to her feet and flinging her against the wall. "I like to play with my food before I play with it some more," he grinned.  
>She got to her feet and held her arms out in defence, her whole body aching as she could hear Castiels tortured cry screaming out beside her, and Dean and Sams angry threats and at that moment in time she surrendered to the side of her that she thought was gone, the side where she did stupid things and didn't care because she believed his words, that she was worthless.<br>She stood as straight as she could, holding her head up high, bracing her body for the blow she knew was going to come and said in the calmest voice she could muster, glaring at him in the weak light, "I can take it," she said, and she knew that Sam, Dean and Castiel knew what she was doing. They knew that she was trying to reassure them that she was okay, but every time she said it, every time he heard a slap echo, or a bang on the walls, his heart got colder each time, and every time he heard it he felt ready to snap.  
>She didn't have to wait long for the blow she knew was coming, "I can take it," she repeated as she staggered to her feet, slightly breathless as he tossed her from side to side of the small concrete cell and out loud she never faltered in her resolve, inside her head she was screaming, the pain was beating her down more and more every blow and she knew what was coming, and that fear was worse than anything she'd ever felt in her life.<br>Willow collapsed to the ground clutching her head, keeping her eyes clenched shut as her breathing became laboured when she felt his body on hers, his hands holding hers above her head, his hands pulling her shirt off and in that second she wondered who was screaming and then with a start she realised that the ghastly sound was what was escaping her lips.  
>She felt a fire crawl up inside her, not the same type of fire that she felt when Castiel touched her. The fire with Castiel felt warm and fuzzy, but now with Asmodeus it felt as if it was burning her insides, and pushing them out through her skin, even her eyes felt different, everything had a tint over it, and despite the weakly lit cell her eyes were more defined, taking in more details.<p>

In that second she realised what was pushed out of her skin, and a surprising amount of anticipation hit her alongside fear but it was mainly a grim sort of pride, it seemed like he felt the fire underneath her skin as well and he pulled away. Willow cocked an inhuman smile at him and yelled out, "shut your eyes." And with that there was a blinding flash of light and Willow was alone, and safe.  
>And for once she passed out happy.<p>

"We should take her to a hospital," she heard Dean yell, and from the smell when she breathed in, it smelt of stale whiskey and cigarette smoke she knew she was back in her room at Bobby's, and she felt Castiel rhythmically stoking her hair.  
>"It's not that kind of trouble," she could hear Castiel say calmly, "she'll be awake shortly."<br>"You said she'll be different," Sam said calmly but she could hear the nerves eating away at his voice, "what do you mean?"  
>"I have no idea." Castiel replied as I sat up and through the pain that racked my body, I smiled.<p>

**I know all these chapters have been short, but it's a build up you see. Just you wait sunshines!  
>Anyway, please review, I like to know what you guys think xox<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**As usual I don't own Supernatural. Sadly**

**But please R&R, all feedback welcome.  
>I genuinely hope you enjoy.<strong>

**Review!**

"It's not that kind of trouble," she could hear Castiel say calmly, "she'll be awake shortly."  
>"You said she'll be different," Sam said calmly but she could hear the nerves eating away at his voice, "what do you mean?"<br>"I have no idea." Castiel replied as I sat up and through the pain that racked my body, I smiled.

Willow grinned as calmly as she could at their shocked expressions as a wave of hunger racked through her body, but she found it easy to ignore, the days where she refused to sleep she'd used hunger as a tool to keep her awake.  
>"How will I be different?" she asked playfully, snorting at their expressions, "I'm alright, still dull old me. Surprisingly what I really want to do is work." She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and glanced down at her dusty and muddy clothes. "Actually," she amended, "what I want is a bath."<br>She walked over to the middle of the room and stopped still, like a deer caught in the headlights when she noticed Dean standing in the doorway. Dean raised his eyebrows at her as they stared each other out, it almost seemed as if they were trying to convey a message when he bowed his head and with a sigh, raised his head again and nodded at Sam, "Okay then, we'll look for a case, be ready to leave in about three."  
>And with that Dean and Sam walked out, Dean smiling warmly at her as he walked past, and Sam who casually messed her hair up, and dodged out of the way of her half hearted slap with ease.<br>Once they had left the room, Willow strode over to the peeling white wooden door and shut it, resting her head on the cold wood.  
>"I thought you didn't want to lie to them?" Castiel asked quietly as Willow walked over and sat on the bed and tapped the blue covers next to her, not talking until Castiel sat beside her, putting his arms around her as he did so.<br>"I don't," she said quietly, "but they're stressing out with me supposedly being Satans baby mum and then with this," she shrugged helplessly, "I want to do some more research with you and Balthazar, just for another month. Two tops, before I tell them. I just," she sighed under her breath, "none of them sighed up for putting their lives on the line for me, which means if something happens to them. It's on me."  
>Castiel didn't say anything, instead he pulled her into a tight hug, planting a kiss on her forehead, before Willow untangled herself from his grasp and with an impish grin she held her hand out to him, "have a bath with me," before he took her hand and allowed himself to be led into Bobby Singers drearily lit bathroom, to have one of the best nights of his long life.<p>

"Can I drive?" Willow chirped as the three Winchesters strode out of Bobby's house, Willow had already put her rather large backpack with everything she needed in the back seat of the Impala so she only had her long and tatty army print messenger bag slung over her shoulder, which coupled with skin tight black skinny jeans and an equally as tight Nirvana top, Castiel wasn't sure if he'd ever seen anything better.

"Sure," Dean snorted.  
>"Really?" Willow asked as she walked towards Castiel who was leaning on the back door of the car, the sunlight which had just rose hitting him perfectly, he looked almost as if he was shining as she walked towards him.<br>"No," Dean laughed, and started muttering about if she thought he was crazy as both Dean and Sam climbed into the car, the doors of the Impala destroying the morning peace as the boys slammed them shut. Once she reached Castiel, he took her hand and just looked into her eyes, they seemed so full of worry that she almost said she wasn't going to hunt, but she remembered quickly how useless she felt at Balthazar's, as the two fallen angels deciphered books in languages she'd never even heard of for her and she just sat there. Useless and just in the way.  
>"I have to go," she said softly, looking at the ground. Castiel tilted her chin up and kissed her lips so softly that for a second she'd thought it was just the breeze.<br>"I love you," he whispered, kissing her forehead, "I'll see you soon, stay safe."  
>"Forever," she kissed his lips softly again, "and," she said as she pulled away, flinging the car door open, a cheeky grin on her face, "I always do Castiel."<p>

"Well we need to drop off at the motel, we need someone here," he glared at Willow in the rear view mirror as she blew a mouthful of smoke in his direction as she flicked the cigarette out the window, "to get all FBI."  
>"It takes time and effort, and yet it always gets the job done," she plastered on a fake smile, and tried to ignore the gnawing pain inside of her. It was a concoction of guilt for not telling the Winchesters, her brothers, everything she knew about what was going on in her life. Not they she felt the urge to tell them every detail, but this was so <em>important<em>. There was also sadness that she knew she was going to lose to Lucifer, she'd known it all along because he knew her weakness, which had now expanded. By no means would she let Lucifer get his grace back, and she'd never have his child, but he knew that what he would do was go after the people she loved, and this wouldn't change her mind because she knew that she couldn't let him have anything he wanted from her, she knew how insignificant they were to the world and yet she couldn't live without them, and now there was Castiel and Balthazar who she felt she had to protect and all this swirled around her head.  
>Willow sat in brooding silence, finding it easy to block out Sam and Deans childish argument about who is the best with the ladies until they reached the motel, and with grim determination she locked all of her brooding thoughts, into a tight lead box inside her head and walked straight through to the dirty motel bathroom to begin making herself look more like an FBI agent.<p>

Almost an hour later and Willow walked out the bathroom with her head held high, her hair was in a tight poker straight ponytail and her cheeks had a slight hint of blush, highlighting her high cheekbones, but it was her clothes which made her look totally different. She had on a dark purple shirt and a tight quarter length blazer on over the top with tight black trousers and heeled shoes she put on a pair of small framed glasses for good measure and laughed alongside Sam and Dean when she walked out of the bathroom.  
>"I almost forgot how different you looked," Sam grinned, turning around to face the back seat of the Impala as they drove to the latest crime scene.<br>"I look damn well ridiculous," she moaned, but grinned none the less, smoothing her shirt down as she walked out of the car. She stood in between Sam and Dean as they walked up to the tape and looked at the police officer, Willow casually flashed her badge and from the look of acknowledgement on his face she knew Sam and Dean had done the same, "I'm agent Momsen, and this is agent Smith and Wilkes. There was a murder here last night?" she questioned him as they ducked under the tape as they walked and spoke.  
>"Yeah," the detective sighed, Willow had to refrain herself from rolling her eyes as she saw him glance her up and down, she ignored him introducing himself as she looked around the murder scene, "this one differs slightly from the others though."<br>"How so?" Sam asked.  
>"There was a survivor," he said, "she's been through a lot but it's the breakthrough we needed."<br>"We weren't told about any survivor," Willow snapped raising herself up as she glared through the glasses at him.  
>"That's probably because right now it's irrelevant, she much think it's unimportant to tell us the truth, regardless it's useless to talk to her anyway," he said dismissively, "she's convinced that the things attacking her weren't human and that they were made of smoke, going into people and making them do it." The detective rolled his eyes and turned his back from the Winchesters which subsequently means he missed the death glares that he was subconsciously getting from all three of the Winchesters.<br>Willow glanced down at the body and started taking notes in her head; the male in his late twenties looked to have died, Willow noticed with disgust, from drinking so much bleach that he'd seemly thrown up his insides.

"Thank you for your help," Willow smiled as they walked away and as soon as the detective was out of earshot she began to grumble, "I swear to god if that man touched my ass one more time, I'll snap his arm off and ram it up his."  
>She was brought out of her increasingly bad mood by Dean who began to laugh at that, chucking his head back and laughing, while Sam – who hadn't heard what Willow said – looked at him with a mixture of being bemused and confused. Dean walked forwards and high fived her, still chuckling as he pulled himself into the Impala.<p> 


	15. Authors Note

Hi guys,  
>I'm sorry, y'all were probably expecting another chapter but here's my issue. I love this story, I adore supernatural and the characters and my own creation, Willow, but I'm not sure if you guys do so here it is.<p>

I don't want to drag this out if none of you want to read it – I'd rather keep the rest of this story to myself and begin to post something new on here. So you can either write a review, email me, (.uk) or ignore this all together if you wanted too ;D

But this isn't a desperate plea for attention and people to tell me how great I am (as nice as that'd be) I'd like constructive criticism or to go into more detail about characters/their relationship/the plot if you'd want me too. If no one comments on this what so ever I'll probably continue so if you think it's raff tell me now!

Thanks for the guys who review (cloudgirl9) and for all the readers

Cj xox


	16. Chapter 15

**As usual I don't own supernatural **

**Sorry**

**Well if you didn't like this story then you missed the chance to tell me to pack it in and stop so here we go. Thankyou for those who did review though!  
>I'm skipping a tiny bit but I wanted to hurry the plot along<strong>

**R&R**

Willow pulled herself from the warm covers of their dingy motel and cursed under her breath as she searched for her ringing phone in her bag. Finally she felt the familiar shape of her mobile in her hand and with her eyes still shut she fell into bed pulling the small black device to her ear as she did so.  
>"Is Sam there?" she could hear Ruby's annoyingly familiar voice and she growled, angry that for a brief second that she'd hoped it was Castiel.<br>"Am I your messenger girl bitch – phone him yourself," Willow said, propping herself up on her elbow, rubbing her eyes and smearing the vague reminder of last night's makeup all over her pale skin.  
>"I would," she said slowly, impatience seeping through her voice, "but his phones off. I have a job for you guys."<br>"We aren't your bitches Ruby."  
>"This one involves dead hunters, so start packing I'm making my way to you," and before Willow could snap back at her and tell her where to shove her company the other line went blank and with what seemed like an almost deafening beep her phone went back to normal, she squinted through the almost blinding light as she looked at the time and resisted the temptation of finding Ruby and stabbing her.<br>"Sam, Dean," she said loudly, pouncing out of bed and within two seconds she'd flicked all the lights on in their motel room and was boiling the kettle. While she made the tea she glared at Sam over her shoulder as he groggily walked into the kitchen, glaring at the light.  
>"You," she said pointing Sam with a mixture of anger and amusement, "need to sort out that bitch of yours. It is <em>five thirty<em> in the damn morning and Ruby's decided we have a job." Before Sam could reply and just Dean slipped into the kitchen, Willows tea was ready and she slipped past them into the bathroom. Running a deep bath while she kept running hands through her hair and stretching her back, hearing satisfying cracks before she decided to call Castiel.  
>She was surprised, as soon as her quiet prayer to Castiel escaped her lips he appeared opposite her, the steamy bathroom already making his hair fall damp, a few loose strands falling in front of his eyes.<br>"Fancy seeing you here," she grinned, sitting in the edge of the bath.  
>Castiel didn't reply he just smiled softly at her, tucking a rose he'd picked up on the way to her behind her ear, the harsh red standing out on both her pale white skin and inky black hair.<br>"Ruby's got us a job," Willow said as pleasantly as she could, standing up and kissing his lips softly, he electricity flicking through her body as soon as his hand slipped up her baggy bed shirt. "Stop," her voice barely more than a whisper, her breathing ragged as she playfully pushed him away and she could have sworn that she saw a cheeky grin across his face before he pulled his puppy dog eyes on her.  
>"What's wrong?" he asked his voice husky.<br>"Nothing, Dean and Sam are next door though," she nodded, "and I have to be ready in half hour. I don't want that demon bitch seeing me look crappy."  
>"You never look <em>crappy<em>," he said pleasantly, planting a kiss on her forehead, "I'll wait with Sam and Dean, I also want to hear what Ruby wants," and within a breath he'd disappeared.

"Ruby," Willow smiled half our later as she opened the motel door, a fake and unbelievable smile on her lips as she blocked Ruby's way into their room.  
>"Can you move?" she said bluntly, rolling her eyes.<br>"Yes I could," Willow said calmly, not bothering to move an inch, glaring at Ruby with all the anger she could summon.  
>"Will," Sam called out behind her, letting out an exasperated sigh before Willow slowly took a step to the side letting Ruby come in before slamming the door behind her. Willow stalked over to stand by Castiel and Dean who were standing on the other side of the table to Ruby and Sam.<br>"I don't understand why we need that demonic aberrations help," Castiel said with a hint of disgust to his voice as he moved slightly closer to Willow, he didn't like her being so close to Ruby, or any demon for that matter.  
>"I'm here to help," Ruby said bluntly as she began pulling maps and news paper articles out of her bag and laying them on the table.<br>"We don't need your help bitch," Dean said, taking a swig of the sugary green cup of coffee.

"Apparently you do," she said, not daring to meet anyone's eyes but Sams so she spoke with her head ducked low as she continued, pointing to the blue pin points on the map, "ten hunters all in all have gone missing around this area. Apparently they got a big low down on this town and all of these hunters trying to go in have vanished, without a trace. But the only similarity is that none of them reached the town, they vanished in the woods surrounding the town which is where they tried to get in."  
>"And you expect us to trust that this isn't a trap?" Willow snorted delicately, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she surveyed the newspaper clippings and sighed, glaring at Ruby. "We'll assume it's not so you don't have to open your mouth again. Castiel you'll have to zap me to Bobby's if you can. Well you'll probably want in actually," she sighed before spilling her plan to everyone in the room, "these people died sneaking in through the woods, so simple. Let's not sneak in. Let's integrate ourselves. I'll go to school and I'll find you three some jobs," she smiled sickly at Ruby, "I hope you have something better to do."<br>"You think that'll work?" Dean asked seriously crossing his arms as he pulled himself to his feet and began to pace the kitchen.  
>"It's worth a shot," she replied, "at the very least. Anyway I sure as hell am not sneaking in. The survival rate on that isn't really fabulous."<br>Silence ensued before Castiel looked at Willow and held his hand out, "shall we begin your work now? And your right, I will want to come with you. For this."  
>Willow nodded and smiled softly at him, stubbing her cigarette out in the almost full glass ashtray before taking his hand as the familiar squeezing feeling started, before she was standing in Bobby's living room.<p>

**I am already enjoying writing the next chapter so much.**

**Please review**

**And enjoy**

**(sorry this one was short)**


	17. Chapter 16

**As usual I don't own supernatural **

**Sorry**

**Well if you didn't like this story then you missed the chance to tell me to pack it in and stop so here we go. Thankyou for those who did review though!  
>I'm skipping a tiny bit but I wanted to hurry the plot along<strong>

**R&R**

Willow grinned as she threw the large brown envelope on the middle of the table, putting her hands triumphantly on her hips, smirking at their bemused expressions.  
>"In there," she said, "is three fake Id's and birth certificates. I hacked into this software online and brought this house," she pulled out a picture from her pocket which had an old fashioned faded white house on it, "but I fixed it so it looked like we brought it two months ago but we have only just got ready to move in to avoid suspicion. I scammed another card so now we have a whole array of furniture delivered there tomorrow ready for us," she was quiet for a second and let everyone raise their eyebrows at her. "I draw the short straw and get to be seventeen year old Cassie Ainsworth who is also the lucky one who gets to go to school," she rolled her eyes at Sam and Deans chuckles before carrying on, "Sam you'll be working in a student bar and your names Christopher Ainsworth and Dean you'll be working as a builder for a local company and your names Darren Ainsworth, and you," she spun around to point at Castiel, "Balthazar is sorting you out, he said he'd do you because I'd have to fabricate everything for you."<br>Silence hung in the air as everyone looked at Willow with raised eyebrows and gaping mouths, "oh please, don't all tell me I'm amazing at once. Our bags are packed by the way," she added as an afterthought as she walked over to Castiel and planted a kiss on his forehead, "we need to go," she whispered into his ear as she blocked out Sam and Deans bickering over who had the cooler job, "I will see you tomorrow?" she asked as she stood up.  
>He looked up at her and nodded, putting a hand on her cheek and sweeping a curl behind her ear before disappearing.<p>

Castiel didn't ever remember feeling so – well – almost nervous about anything. He appeared in the middle of a ice cold room which was all but empty excluding Willow, Sam and Deans sleeping bodies all covered by separate sleeping bags. Castiel blended into the wall and walked beside Willow, keeping his body hidden as he watched her sleep, she was such a light sleeper and he didn't want to disturb the serene expression on her face as she slept.  
>Castiel was peacefully both watching Willow and deep in his own thought when she jerked awake and he only just noticed; how she was shaking and the sweat which was pouring off her, making her hair cling to her pale face. Before Castiel could consider showing himself and holding her, anything to make her loose the scared and young expression on her face, she snatched the cigarette packet which were lying on top of her folded black jumper and stood up, leaning against the window her body framed by the moonlight as she took a drag.<br>He walked behind Willow and put his hands around her waist, pulling her body back onto his as he softly kissed her forehead.  
>"What was the nightmare?" he asked.<br>"I don't know what you're talking about," she whispered, her hand shaking as she pulled the cigarette back to her lips.  
>"I saw Will," he told her calmly.<br>She stiffened for a second before relaxing back into his arms, sighing dejectedly, "my dream was Lucifer won and I couldn't stop myself from ripping the skin off you and burning you – all four of you."  
>Castiel pulled her closer to him; the inwards anger against himself from not making sure she was safe was welling up inside her as he replied. "Four of us?"<br>"You, Sam, Dean and Balthazar, you are my family."  
>Castiel felt his face break into a smile as he bent his head and kissed the soft flesh on her neck, "you're my only future," he replied, as they stood in the gaze of the moon.<p>

"Have a good day at school Will," Dean smiled patronisingly, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes as he saw her pained expression as she glared at the drab and busy grey building.  
>"I hate this," she grumbled, pulling the black and white small tie dye rucksack onto her lap as she looked at Dean with black rimmed green eyes, "If nothing happens in a week then we are gone, okay?"<br>"You'll be fine," he said as calmly as he could, still wearing an amused expression but his eyes more serious as he nodded at the school building, "come'on. Piece of cake."  
>"I'll see you later," Willow said gravely, stepping out the car and wincing as she heard it speed up and drive away. She pulled the already crumpled timetable from her dark purple high waist shorts and winced again at the prospect of her day, especially with triple history and then philosophy her day no longer seemed promising.<br>Willow leant against the wall and pulled the Lucky Star cigarette packet from her pocket and lit one, before she noticed. The small looking girl who looked as if she'd be pretty if she tried - who was at that particular moment in time, surrounded by a rather scary looking group of girls. She tugged on the tight fitting BlessTheFall top down as she watched, and as they pushed her to the ground and began laughing, before she even knew what she was doing she was steadily walking towards them, her hair falling over her shoulders as she took a drag once she stood behind them. Tapping her black paintent doc. Martins on the floor as she coughed, waiting for them to turn to face her, when she realised they were too busy laughing and spitting on the girl on the ground she leant forwards and tapped the fattest girl on the shoulder.  
>The fat girl turned slowly to face her and spoke her voice whiney, "What the fuck do you want?"<br>Willow snorted and took a drag, blowing it into her face before she replied, her voice quiet and deadly calm, "what the fuck do you think you're doing?"  
>"None of your concern," another girl who had a face which resembled a horse said.<br>"I think," Willow said slowly, taking a final drag before flicking it just in front of the horse faced girl, "that you're all cowards and whores and you should leave this girl alone," Willow shook her head, "I hate bullies."  
>"We aren't bullies," the fat girl said as she turned around and tried to square up to Willow, who was a few inches shorter and thinner.<br>Willow tilted her head back and laughed her mean and cruel laugh which made the hair on the back of peoples necks stand on edge. "Sure, so what would you call it?"  
>"Teaching this girl a lesson, she disrespected me," she replied, and her posy of tracksuit clad posse all murmured in agreement.<br>"Well what would you call what I did?" Willow cocked her eyebrow, her eyes narrowed into slits as she stepped forwards, so she was in the girls face. "I'm disrespecting you now _bitch, _so raise your hand to me, I fucking dare you." She said menacingly and paused for a second as the girl in front of her stood in shocked silence, "exactly, you won't because you won't do shit on your own so how about you and all your Chlamydia infested _friends_ scurry off somewhere where I don't have to look at you."  
>She smiled almost pleasantly at the fat girl in front of her but no one could ignore the poorly masked threat behind the smile, the fat girl walked around her and her posse followed, "you wait until after school," she vaguely heard them yell as they walked into the building. Willow smirked as she lit another cigarette and looked down at the girl on the floor.<br>"You alright?" she asked, offering her hand as she helped the girl up, she nodded meekly and smiled softly.  
>"Thank you, but now they're going to target you now," she almost whispered, letting her hair full in front of her face as Willow shrugged.<br>"Let them, I'll whip their asses," she took one last deep drag before flicking the cigarette and looking at the tiny girl in front of her. "Do you know where history is? I'm Cassie by the way."  
>She nodded and began to walk towards the school, making sure Willow was behind her before walking up the steps and Willow only just caught her name, 'Danni,' which she said under her breath.<br>The school for Willow was uncomfortably crowded and loud, however history was almost next to the entrance so before Willow even opened the science class door she was already formulating a plan on bunking for fag breaks which was when she noticed Castiel standing in front of the glass with a stony expression on his face he didn't give any inclination that he noticed her except for pointing at a seat at the front before saying in an expressionless voice, 'your seat Miss.'  
>Willow shook her head bemusedly and sat down as all the other students poured in.<p>

**Bit of a filler but I had fun.**

**Anyway, did anyone get the skins reference? I'd always imagined Willow as looking a bit like Hannah Murray (Cassie from Skins) which was why I sneaked the name in.**

**Let me know if you liked it. **


	18. Chapter 17

**As usual I don't own supernatural **

**Sorry**

**There is quite a lot of swearing in this chapter but still, please review and thank you for everyone who did review – it means a lot.**

**I hope you enjoy**

**R&R**

The school for Willow was uncomfortably crowded and loud, however history was almost next to the entrance so before Willow even opened the science class door she was already formulating a plan on bunking for fag breaks which was when she noticed Castiel standing in front of the glass with a stony expression on his face he didn't give any inclination that he noticed her except for pointing at a seat at the front before saying in an expressionless voice, 'your seat Miss.'  
>Willow shook her head bemusedly and sat down as all the other students poured in, she kept trying to catch Castiels eye but his gaze was set on the bits of paper in front of him while he messed through the papers with an almost frightened expression slapped across his otherwise emotionless face.<br>One the majority of the seats were full Castiel stepped around the desk and faced the class and Willow tried to pay attention to what he was saying, but it was school and it was something she was never particularly good at. She tried her hardest for Castiel who was having trouble controlling the class anyway, trying to keep his voice below a shout, but Willow could notice the hints of boredom seeping through his voice as he spoke, so she began to doodle on the paper in front of her which was when she heard the first snicker.  
><em>You see that new girl; well I heard she doesn't eat.<br>She's so weird, urgh why'd they let her in?  
>I think she's ugly.<em>  
>Willow bit her tongue and continued drawing, but once she'd heard their comments she couldn't stop, although what they said was hardly new she had a lousy temper. And Willow almost managed to make it through the whole two lessons until they started talking about Cass, and as soon as they begun her blood began to boil and she felt the familiar faint blush creep up her neck which was the only sign she gave that she was angry – that and her white knuckle grip on the pencil.<br>_Oh he's well hot._

_I think he's horrible.  
>Do you think he likes me?<em>

_I'll ask him out.  
><em>"Will you shut the fuck up?" Willow finally snapped, spinning around to face them, her eyes narrowed into slits as she faced the gag of giggling girls.  
>"Someone is getting mouthy again," Sophie drawled, trying to mock Willows voice but instead came off as a pale imitation as Willows voice cut through the air like a knife laced with venom.<br>"Listen either shut the fuck up or piss off you're all doing my head in."  
>"Fuck off mate, you can't tell me what to do," Sophie snapped back, earning approving mutters from her group around her but the rest of the class stayed silent, their eyes transfixed on the bickering pair.<br>"I will do whatever the hell I want to," Willow smiled darkly, before snarling through grit teeth, "so once again, I'll warn you, shut your fucking mouth or I will shut it for you."  
>And for a second Willow allowed herself a small satisfactory smile as Sophie looked as if she was about to lose her bottle but then she glance around at her little posse and arched an eyebrow, "but my friends will back me up all the way, you have no one so we can fuck you up."<br>In one swift movement Willow slid from her chair and managed to take a few menacing steps forwards before she felt Castiels hand placed on the small of her back and she only just realised how angry she was, stupidly angry over some class bitch.  
>"Cassie," she could hear Castiels voice in her ears as she stiffly turned away from their shocked faces as she tucked her hair behind her ear, "come outside, you need to calm down."<br>In one sweeping movement before she was even thinking about it she picked her back up and slipped outside, slamming the door shut behind her, her head spinning.  
>With a frustrated growl she spun around and punched the wall ignoring at the searing pain which spread through her knuckles to her elbow as she ran her hands through her hair. She was vaguely aware of Castiel behind her but her thoughts felt as if they were out of control and running around her crowded head too quickly before they snapped.<p>

Castiel was worried, he'd never seen Willow this worked up, she always had an almost calm air about her, even when she was fighting, she moved so fluidly it was like everything she did was a small dance but now she looked like a caged wild animal in her own mind, he gripped her shoulders and looked into her wide green eyes and softly shook her, he opened his mouth to prompt her to speak but Willow cut over him, her voice quiet and urgent.  
>"We need to get out of here," and she pulled the Demon killing dagger from her hiding place underneath her shirt and grabbed his hand and pulled him forwards, it took a moment for Castiel to understand on what was going on until he was being propelled behind her.<p>

Willow smelt her before she saw her as she burst through the old school doors with her hand firmly in Castiels as she let all the air out from her lungs in a defeated sigh as she saw Ruby standing in the rain with her hands cocked on her hips, her eyes a demonic black.  
>"Let me guess," Willow spoke up, clinging tighter onto Castiels hand, "that bringing us here was a ploy and you have Sam and Dean so it's useless for me to fight?"<br>"Oh wow," Ruby replied with mock enthusiasm, "gold star for you. Yes we have them. So give me that pretty little knife and come quietly?"  
>"Well," Willow said as she skipped down the steps, pressing the knife deeply into Ruby's hand, "we don't want you to lose it again do we?"<br>With one more patronising smile from Ruby, two demons appeared behind her, and as she twisted around to look at Castiel, panic beginning to rise in her stomach, she saw that there were two behind him as well, and as they clamped their hands on her shoulder, there was a blur of blackness and when light and all sense of solid ground came back to her, she looked about and realised that she wasn't outside the school anymore.

She was in what seemed to be a normal house, and from the view she could see from the windows it was in the middle of nowhere, she spun around to look for Castiel but instead she saw someone else standing in the doorframe with the struggling bodies of Dean, Sam and Castiel being held back behind him.  
>With one deep breath in, Willow smoothed down her clothes and tucked her hair behind her ears and cocked her head to the side, her voice as flat and bored as she could make it, trying her hardest to cover up the fear she felt as she looked over his shoulder to the scared looks in their eyes as they fought against their restraints.<br>"Lucifer, can't say it's nice to finally meet you." 

**DUM DUM DUMM**

**Let me know if you liked it. **


	19. Chapter 18

**As usual I don't own supernatural **

**Sorry**

**Please review and thank you for everyone who did review – it means a lot.**

**I hope you enjoy**

**R&R**

Willow tilted her head up defiantly and worked on keeping her face emotionless, her eyes never waving from Lucifer who was slowly walking towards her a grim smile playing on his lips.  
>"You know dreams didn't do you justice," he said softly, his face breaking into a cocky grin and Willow felt her heart beat faster as he took a few steps towards her, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on edge.<br>"But you tried to hide from me, so I had to lure you here," he finished, stopping just in front of her, sitting on the arm of the couch and looking up at her, he went to grab onto her hand and Willow snatched her hand back, glaring down at him but refusing to move – and she wasn't sure she could even if she wanted too, her legs felt as if they were made out of jelly.  
>"Well congrats, a hundred points to Lucy," Willow snapped back, her eyes darting to all the windows and exits then finally back to her struggling boys and all coherent plan of escape went out of her dead. She glared harshly back down to Lucifer when he began talking again.<br>"Well I needed you – we have a new world together, we could be great _you just have to say yes_."  
>"That's quite a proposition," she tried to say airily, raising her eyebrows, "most guys would buy me a drink first."<br>He stood up in a flash and pinned her to the wall by her throat, his soulless eyes boring into her sparkling ones, she bit back a wounded cry as he lifted her off her feet and she fought off all other instincts which tried to take over her body to fight him off but with as much self control she could muster she kept her legs from kicking out and her hands from clawing whatever she could get her hands on.  
>"Say yes," he spat in her face, his face contorted with sudden anger.<br>"Bite me," Willow choked out as she grinned as best she could.  
>She felt his hands release her and with a startling crack as she landed on the floor she breathed in deeply, enjoying the feeling of the cold air entering her lungs.<br>"You will do it," she heard him say and she peered through her curtains of hair as it fell in front of her face she saw him drag Dean onto his knees in front of her and pull a knife out so it was sitting on his throat, a thin line of blood already appearing. She looked into Deans eyes for a second and had to beat the tears back as he smiled softly at her and nodded ever to slightly, just a tilt of his head but she understood. She understood that he understood that there was no way of getting out of this and it broke her heart in two.  
>Willow slowly raised to her feet, running a hand through her curls and staring at Lucifer, a cold look entering her eyes, "go to hell," she spat out.<br>"I'll kill him," Lucifer said in a bored voice, grabbing a handful of his hair and pulling him backwards, keeping him on his knees so his throat was totally exposed, "I will kill however many people it takes to get you to say yes," he said, and then smiled opening his arms out, "so you might as well say yes."  
>There was silence for a second and Willow almost thought about saying yes, and everyone else in the room thought she was until she tilted her head back and laughed the sound bouncing from the walls making the sound echo. "If you harm them," she took a menacing step forwards him, "then I will kill you, because, well – you know Azazel. Well where do you think he is? Your grace is a really nice way to kill someone," she took the momentary surprise on Lucifer's face to carry on, raising her voice, "if you kill <em>anyone<em> then I will figure out how to push this grace out again and I will destroy you. Then there is no plan. No one dies. You hear?"  
>"No one dies?" Lucifer raised his eyebrows and chucked Dean forwards, he landed on his face and before he could get back up with a snap of Lucifers voice a demon grabbed Dean to stop him from moving. "Take them downstairs, me and Willow are going to talk," Lucifer said pleasantly, making Willows skin crawl, she refused to meet Castiels eyes as they walked past her and through a door, she couldn't cry or show weakness in front of him, she was going to die with dignity.<p>

Lucifer snatched Willows hair and dragged her onto the floor, the noise her head made as it connected with the wooden floorboards made her feel sick, and as the world swam for a few seconds Lucifer climbed on top of her.  
>"It'd be easier if you said yes now, it'll happen anyway it's been foreseen so just do it," he whispered in her ear. Willow flung her legs up in an attempt to kick him off but it didn't work instead she felt a searing pain as she heard more than felt her bone in her leg crack. She tried to bite away the pained cry but it slipped through her lips, making the silence in the air shatter.<br>"That's not playing nice – say yes."  
>"Fuck off," Willow said shortly, desperately trying to cling to consciousness as the pain from her leg spread around her body.<br>"Well then," Lucifer said as he traced the thin white scar Willow had leading from behind her ear to her shoulder with a knife, as a faint line of red appeared behind it, "I will have to make you."  
>Willow bit back another scream as she whispered, "You'll have to kill me, I will never give your grace back."<br>"What about the baby deal? Is that open for negotiation?" he snickered as he moved to making slight cuts along her collar bone as he ripped her back jumper off, and instead of feeling scared or self conscious that she was lying topless in a room full of demons she rejoiced as the cold air hit her skin, making the pain more bearable. Slightly.  
>"Not going to happen," she said, trying to plaster a mocking grin across her face but instead it came out more as a grimace as he sliced the knife into her skin, curving underneath her bra. He looked at the pendant hanging around her neck and Willow felt her heart quicken, she so desperately wanted to pull Castiels gift to her into her hand and out of his grasp but instead a small moan passed through her lips as the pain coursing through her body made it impossible for her to move.<br>"Did lover boy get you this?" he asked, dropping it down on her chest, creating another small cut on the palm of her hand.  
>"Jealous?" she whispered, cocking her eyebrows, moaning in pain, "This won't change my mind Lucy."<br>She only just managed to get out that sentence before a strangled cry escaped through her lips and she managed to tilt her head and see that Lucifer had stabbed the knife through the palm of her hand and into the wooden floor, and for once as she felt the blackness of unconsciousness ebbing away at her vision she welcomed it.

Castiel couldn't help but to worry, he knew that Sam and Dean were as well but they were more bothered about getting them all out, unable to think that Willow was dead. But Castiel was more worried she was and if she was indeed then – well he had to reason to leave.  
>He'd been staring at her body for about two hours, ever since they'd thrown her in, covered in blood and her top missing revealing another array of old scars and new cuts, lying in a pool of her own blood. And every now and then he was sure that he could see her chest rise and fall in the weak rays of sunshine but he couldn't be sure that it wasn't just his mind protecting the truth from himself – he knew that if she was dead then he would die here too.<br>"Man," Dean said for the sixth time, "we're worried too but they won't kill her, she needs to be alive for them to get what she wants."  
>"We can't be sure," Castiel replied bluntly, his heart pounding when he saw Willows frame stirring, she propped herself up on her elbow and looked about, one of her eyes wide and confused, the other almost totally shut with a large cut above it.<br>"Willow," Castiel cried ecstatically, "Dean she's awake."  
>Dean and Sam pressed their faces into the bars which separated their and Willows cell from each other, and alongside Castiel they called out to her.<br>She smiled weakly at them, and slowly began to crawl towards them, wincing and making small moans of pain until she reached the bars of the cage, and collapsed backwards, resting her back on the bars and panting under her breath and Castiel looked at her.  
>Her hair was caked in blood and she had a large cut above her left eye matched with a black eye, a split lip and countless cuts, burns and bruises all over her body and he looked down at her leg she was clinging on with one hand and with sigh he noticed it was broken and he glanced at the left hand she rested on her chest with the garish wound through it. Willow caught Castiels gaze, and smiled weakly, "keeping it elevated, don't want to bleed out now do I," she said sourly, "so boys – the plan?"<p>

Dean nudged Sam and pointed at her broken leg and Willow could hear them whispering about how the running and fighting plan was a bust, she could hear the pain laced in their words and she wished for a way to hide what had happened.  
>"I am so sorry," Castiel whispered through the bars next to her ear, she looked up to see tears falling silently from his eyes and she tried to smile again – to make it all okay. But before any comforting words came out, through her muddled and pain riddled thoughts an idea popped through.<br>"Castiel, you can't angel out here can you?" Castiel silently shook his head and Willow carried on, her voice horse and she winced with every movement but she dragged herself to the wall over her shoulder, "because they have your scent or whatever you call it. But they don't have Balthazar's. I'll call him."  
>"We thought of that, it won't work," Dean said calmly, trying to avoid looking at Willow who was broken and battered, "we don't have the right ingredients."<br>"You have me," she smiled cocking her head, "I'm all graced and things. She held her hands to her wounds and began to painfully draw a symbol on the grey cement floor, using the blood already flowing from her wounds, almost breaking into tears as the pain and exhaustion made her feel faint. She looked up when she finished and looked at Castiel plainly.  
>"That's fine," he tried to say comfortingly and he began to say the enochian words as fast as he could, making sure she repeated them perfectly, before – with a shock Balthazar appeared straight away.<br>"Well," he raised his eyebrows, looking around the bloody and dimly lit cell, "you've been having fun haven't you?"  
>"Get her out of here," Castiel said gruffly, pulling himself to his feet, "Lucifers here, he'll realise you're here. Get her out."<br>"No," Willow moaned and pushed Balthazar away as he tried to pull her up to zap her to safety and she pushed her curls out of the way as she looked up at Balthazar. "He won't kill me, you get them out. Now."  
>Balthazar must have recognised something in my eyes, thought Willow as she watched Castiel, Dean and Sam disappear with Balthazar, she tried to pull herself up using the bars but she felt her leg behind her as a dead weight and instead a broken scream escaped her lips as she fell crashing to the floor.<br>She heard a deranged yell from Lucifer as she felt the soft fresh breeze which went through the air which meant Balthazar was back, he looked down at her and with one movement she was in his arms in a dusty and dark cell and with another she was in his arms in a brightly lit, cluttered bedroom.  
>He gingerly laid her out on the bed and she smiled up at him, "thanks Balthy."<br>"You're paying for my dry cleaning," he chuckled dryly before Castiel burst through the doors and kissed Willows forehead softly as she felt a fuzzy almost numbly painful feeling coarse through her body, which she knew had meant she'd been healed. She pulled a hand up to Castiels face and pulled him closer to her their lips touching and he kissed her hungrier than he ever had before, his hand resting softly on her cheek, as he pulled apart resting their foreheads on each other.  
>"I am so sorry," he choked, "I should have protected you."<br>"I'm fine," she tried to say convincingly, kissing him deeply on the lips, her skin felt alert from how softly he touched her.  
>"I love you Castiel, but I made that choice. Don't blame yourself."<br>"My goddess you're my love, you're my life."

**I hope y'all liked it. **


	20. Chapter 19

Two authors notes? How lame I am, I'm real sorry

But I'm working on the next chapter but I was reading through the others, and I realised how much of the plot I thought threw so well in my head I missed out so;

If you quiet like this story, want to know more about the plot (like the bits I missed out), want to discuss the story or where it's going, or want to give me any ideas, or anything you'd want to see me write email me at;

.uk

Thank you guys!

I'll upload tomorrow xox


	21. Chapter 20

**As usual I don't own supernatural **

**Sorry**

**please review and thank you for everyone who did review – it means a lot.**

**I hope you enjoy**

**R&R**

"Dean can I have a word?" Castiels voice rang through the room as Castiel was met with three pairs of inquisitive eyes met his questioning blue gaze and the blush which spread on Castiels cheeks were enough to make Dean pull himself to his feet and walk out the door with Castiel.  
>"Well, what is it?" Dean asked, pulling the beer to his lips and raising his eyebrows, leaning on the doorframe, trying to meet Castiels gaze but as soon as they went outside Castiels eyes were glued to the floor.<br>"I wasn't sure which way to go around this Dean, it's human customs and there are different ways," Castiel said, twisting his hands together but other than that his voice stayed emotionless.  
>"Cas," Dean snapped over him, "spit it out."<br>"I want to ask for your permission to marry Willow," he said bluntly.  
>Deans mouth dropped open and Castiel kept his head ducked low, the tips of his ears going red while silence ensued while he waited for Deans reply.<br>"You might want to ask Bobby that," he said gruffly.  
>"She looks up to you more," he said plainly, pleading in his eyes as he looked up, "I might not have the... best timing. But you always say now or never and I love her Dean."<br>"Please with the emotions," he said, holding his hand up to silence Castiel, once again raising his eyebrows at him. "You're not going to leave her again then are you?"  
>"Never."<br>"Well then," Dean said, taking another swig of beer and smiling slightly, "you have my blessing... or whatever." 

"Castiel," Willow whispered as she rolled over in a somewhat unfamiliar bed, the surprise heat making her feet dizzy as she sat up, the room dimly lit by candles lit around her.  
>"Shush," he sat beside her, tucking hair behind her ears rubbing her back somewhat soothingly, "it's okay."<br>"Where are we?" she asked softly, looking about the room and was breathless at how stunning it was. There was piles of blue roses in every corner and slow burning incense making a sweet scent fill the air, alongside the many candles dotted on every surface giving the room an alluring feel.  
>"Cuba, middle of nowhere. I thought you'd want to get away, relax," he said nervously and Willow noticed that straight away. The tips of his ears were still lightly red and despite the mixture of arousal and drowsiness she felt she could still tell he wanted to say something but the fact that he was sitting next to her topless, with the sweat glossing his skin, making his muscles stand out.<br>"Good plan. It's nice," she smiled, running a hand up Castiels back before playing with loose strands of his hair.  
>"I wanted to ask you something," he said quietly and Willows mouth fell open in a shocked 'O' face before he even got to ask the question when he pulled the small ring from his pocket and held it out to her, slipping off the bed and onto his knees the weak light that the candles let out highlighting the weak smile on Castiels face.<p>

"Willow Lilly Winchester, will you marry me?"

Willow didn't know what to say, she tried to say something but she could feel the lump appearing in her throat as she felt the tears spring into her eyes, "I'm a hunter Cas."  
>"I know," he said softly, not moving from his knees but placing a comforting hand on her cheek. "And I love you, I want you to be my wife."<br>She smiled softly as the tears began to roll freely from her eyes as she threw herself onto Castiel, pulling her lips onto his, nibbling his bottom lip before breaking away, "well who would say no to that. Of course I will Castiel. I love you."

**I'm so sorry it's so short, but I wanted y'all to have something to read before the exams start. I'll update as much as I can!  
>Please review xox<strong>


	22. Chapter 21

**Sorry**

**please review and thank you for everyone who did review – it means a lot.**

**I hope you enjoy**

**R&R**

Willow rolled out of bed and smiled to herself, pulling the sheet around her body as she walked to the balcony, her bare feet padding along the wooden floor, she pulled a cigarette to her lips as she lit it, grinning slightly as she watched the smoke disappear looking at the moonlight as it glittered on the water as she remembered her first night with Castiel. She absent mindedly looked down and noticed something that after spending a week in Cuba planning her wedding she'd not noticed before.  
>It was a small sect of sand in front of a cliff which was covered artistically in ivy with wild flowers spouting out randomly along the wall and even in the darkness it took her breath away – after a week of looking she'd found where she wanted to be married.<br>She heard a flutter of wings and the smell of rain filled the air and Willow turned around with a sultry smile on her face, stubbing the cigarette out in the ash tray before meeting Castiels eyes and dropping the sheet away from her chest.

Castiel couldn't ever remember feeling this in awe of the woman in front of him. She was standing totally naked with a soft smile playing on her lips and he was far too aware of her body as she walked closer to him and he tried to take everything in, he tried to commit it to memory – the way her body curved at her waist, the way her hips bones poked out perfectly of her tiny frame, brought out by her hip piercings or the way her tattoos curved with her body, the way her hair fell in crazy waves behind her, making her look like an inhuman goddess. Once she was in front of him he took his hands in hers and kissed her forehead softly.  
>"I love you so much Willow," he whispered.<br>"We're getting married in three days," Willow smiled, whispering back as she looked up with him with her perfect green eyes and he ducked his head down for a kiss, pushing her down on the bed, the feel of her skin underneath him was enough to push him into oblivion as she began to moan his name.

Willow pulled herself up and saw Castiel beside her, his eyes staring off into the distance, totally unaware of her surroundings's doing what Willow liked to call his "awake sleeping" which left him unaware of anything that was going on around him. She stretched out on the bed and picked up Castiels shirt from the foot of the bed and shrugged it on, pulling it on tight around her shoulders. She leaned over and lit a cigarette taking a deep drag in before raising her eyebrows at him as his eyes stayed transfixed on the distance. Willow took another drag, pushing her hair away from her sticky skin as she thought of the best way to wake him up, when a flash of memories hit her as the idea came to her to pull his hair.

**Flashback**  
>I laughed as the bouncer chucked me and Dean out of the too crowded bar, I had a bottle of undetected tequila up my top from behind the bar and Dean had the same but whiskey instead. We stumbled outside, the cold hair making my head spin as drunk laughs escaped mine and Deans lips as we pulled the bottles out from under our tops and clinked them together before we both took a swig, the tequila burning my throat but I didn't care – it tasted so perfectly sickly sweet. I glanced up and saw Sam and Castiel looking at me and Dean as if we were naughty children which made more giggles escape my lips before I could stop them.<br>"Hey," Dean said, raising his eyebrows, staggering slightly on his feet as I looked over to him, "don't act like you guys aren't drunk."  
>"Not as drunk as you two," Sam said exasperated as he pulled on Deans arm, "come on Dean, let's get back to the motel before you get in any more fights."<br>"Hey," Dean said, slurring his words while I watched Sam tow him towards the car, "he started it."  
>"Cas," Sam said over his shoulder, giving me another look as if I was still the naughty child, so me being smashed and happy, stuck my tongue out at him, "zap her back to the motel will you?"<br>Castiel nodded bluntly and waited for Dean and Sam to be out of sight before he spun around and looked at me, he took an unsteady step forwards and that's when I noticed. His hair was messy and his tie was off, mixed with the unsteadiness on his feet I began to laugh again, backing up as Castiel pushed me into the wall behind me, "Cassies drunk," I laughed before I felt his lips on mine, the awkwardness and hesitancy that used to be there when he kissed had been replaced with passion and demanding as I felt lips pressing again and his body pressing against me as close as he could with my back to the wall, he bit down on my bottom lip and his hands slip up may top, making my skin shiver with excitement as he ran his nails down my side, dropping his lips to my neck as I let out a low moan as I felt his small bites on my neck – which was when I did it. I entwined my hand in his short hair and tugged it softly, at the time all I wanted was his attention but I got much more than that.  
>As I tugged roughly on his hair he let out his own guttural moan, pushing his nails into my skin as our lips met again, filled with more desire than before, I tugged on his hair again, to test out that what I was doing was indeed making him make those noises and he responded the same way, moaning into my mouth as I pulled his hair back again this time, pulling his lips away from mine as I moved and began to kiss his neck, he moaned my name under his breath as I released my hand from his hair and looked up at him, "kinky," I smiled, "hair pulling. Who would've thought it." <p>

**End of flashback**


	23. Chapter 22  the wedding

**Sorry**

**please review and thank you for everyone who did review – it means a lot.**

**I hope you enjoy**

**R&R**

**Three days later**

Willow smothered down the dress for the thousandth time and tried to calm her breathing, with shaking hands she reached out and took a sip of the glass of the red wine in front of her, tugging on the pendant around her neck until she felt a tab better. She looked up and saw Dean and Sam uncomfortably shift their ties to try and loosen them but with silent death glares from Willow they stopped and made their excuses to go and help the guests and ducked out of the tent which left Willow and Joe sitting in the small makeshift tent they'd set up for them, two minutes away from the beach so that they could get ready.  
>Joe placed a hand on Willows shoulder for a second and through her nerves Willow managed to smile nervously up at her as Joe passed down her cigarette packet.<br>"You look stressed," Joe said calmly as she sat down, careful not to crease the dark blue bridesmaid dress as she leaned back on her chair.  
>"I feel," began Willow as she took a drag on her cigarette, trying to think of the right word but her mind felt too scattered, "happy. I mean I am shitting it but yeah," she smiled at Joe, and tugged gently on her hand, "did you ever think that I'd be doing this? I sure as hell didn't."<br>"You're right – I don't think I ever pictured you in a white dress," Joe laughed slightly, "I remember the time our parents dropped us off at that play group thing when we were what – eight? And they tried making us wear the right uniform – you remember? Those tatty white dresses? You went mental, and carried on until they sent you home."  
>Willow chuckled under her breath, "good times," she stubbed the cigarette out on the table and had a good look at herself in the mirror. Her hair pulled into an artistic bun with blue roses laced as a crown around her head. Her dress was pure white and simple, slightly tight at the top and only one strap in a plated pattern across her left shoulder with the rest of the material falling gracefully to her ankles, the pendant Castiel gave her was still around her neck and that was the only piece of jewellery she wore.<br>Willow turned to face Joe, pulling her into a hug before smoothing down her dress again, "Castiel wanted me to wear white, despite he said he doesn't mind I know him – and honestly I like it." They smiled nervously at each other before Willow broke the tension, nudging Joe with her arm, "Joe do you remember your eighteenth?"  
>"No," Joe started laughing and before long they were giggling on each other, Joe was bent over clutching her sides as between giggles she was trying to tell the story which was when Bobby and Balthazar walked in and coughed under their breath.<br>"Well you look dazzling for a hairless ape darling," Balthazar clapped his hands together as he smiled at her, "I might just be proud to call you my sister in law."  
>"Oh Balthy," Willow giggled, "will the compliments ever end?"<br>And with one more smile exchanged between the two, Balthazar nodded towards Bobby and ducking out the tent and with one more calming breath Willow smiled softly at Bobby as he held out his arm and with Joe walking in front of them clutching the blue roses they left the small tent.  
>"You better not let me trip over Bobby," Willow said under her breath as the sand began to seep in-between her toes as she looked at Bobby, he was all cleaned up with his hair slicked back wearing a white shirt and blue tie, he looked down at her at grinned at her.<br>"You chose me to give you away that's the least I can do."  
>Willow nudged into him gently as they walked, she could hear the quiet music which meant that she was nearly at the aisle, she was almost going to see Castiel and as hard as she tried she couldn't control her heart beat, "Bobby, you're the closest thing I ever had to a father, don't go all soft now."<br>She reached the top of the aisle when she felt a small stabbing pain on her shoulder which was followed by a wave of nausea, so big that she thought she was going to pass out – but then she saw what'd he had done and Willow managed to bury every feeling other than happiness and awe down.  
>The aisle had been the one thing that Castiel had done himself and it was fabulous. The chairs which the gests where sitting on were white with blue roses entwined around the edge of every last chair – the floor where Castiel stood by the priest were the palest pink cherry blossoms she'd ever seen and when she reached the alter she realised where she'd seen them from, she smiled up at Castiel hand softly touched the pendant around her neck while he smiled down at her. <p>

When it was time for Willow to say her vows she didn't know if she could speak – she'd never understood why people cried at weddings, and now with her holding her tears back she still didn't understand, but she couldn't stop a tear from sliding down her cheek as she took the simple silver ring into her hand, "Castiel you are my best friend, my confidant and one of my favourite pests. You can make me laugh, you're honest and wise. You are my strength and you are kind hearted. And best of all you love me no matter what. You have always managed to help me through the bad times and I can't imagine life without you. Today I want to make this promise to you and to myself in front of my friends and family to love, honour and protect you for the rest of my life," she grinned at him as she pushed the ring onto his finger, "I do."  
>She glanced quickly towards everyone and with a small smile she noticed that Dean looked as if he was crying, she chuckled and looked back at Castiel with a snap as he began talking with her hand in his.<br>"Willow Winchester from this day on I want to live with you, and laugh with you. To stand by your side and have you sleep in my arms. To be the best I can be just for you, to celebrate through the good times and help you though all the bad. To solace you when you are disheartened and wipe your tears with my hand. To care for you with my entire being and to share everything I have with you and keep you safe forever and always. I do."  
>And with shaking fingers Willow felt the small and simple ring slip onto her finger and she threw her arms around him, her face aching from the large smile which was across it as he pushed his lips on top of hers.<br>"Willow, you look amazing," he whispered in her ear as they turned to look at the cheering crowd.  
>"You do too," she smiled up at him, "<em>husband<em>." She laughed to herself at how weird she sounded, she felt a shiver run though her body as she pulled Castiel a bit closer.  
>"You okay Willow?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.<br>"Nothing is going to ruin today," she said under her breath as she kissed his cheek, "stop worrying, I'm fine." 

**Shit is going to go dowwwwwwwwwn**

**I tried to make it as cute as possible**

**Let me know whatcha think?**


	24. Chapter 23

**Sorry**

**please review and thank you for everyone who did review – it means a lot.**

**I hope you enjoy**

**R&R**

"Today," Willow smiled as she ran her hand up and down Castiels arms and wondered again for the hundredth time on how someone so skinny could be so toned and perfect, "it has been the best day of my life."  
>Castiel smiled down at her, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, planting a small kiss on her forehead before pulling back, looking down at Willow alarmed.<br>"No," Willow shook her head glaring up at him, "I know that face, I'll be fine stop it – it is our wedding day."  
>"Humour me? Please," Castiel said, wrapping his arm around her waist as he towed her into the front room of their small Cuba house to where Balthazar, Bobby, Sam and Dean were sitting still dressed in their tuxedos.<br>"Balthazar?" Castiel asked quietly, pulling him aside and after one look which Willow couldn't interpret between the two of them she found herself doing something she'd only ever done once before. Which was fainting.

"Sit still," Castiel ordered, his voice like thunder when she woke up raising a small hand to her head which seemed as if it was on order to explode and the noises around her made her ears bleed. Even Sam and Dean whispering worriedly to each other made her head pound horribly.  
>"Cas," Willow mumbled under her breath as she held a hand out searching for him, she hated feeling this weak as if she needed him, and if she was honest she did. But she didn't want anyone to know about that.<br>Almost straight away his hand was in hers and one arm was comfortingly around her shoulder, "shush," he calmed her, "it'll be okay, we'll get the cure."  
>"Cure?" Willow asked, her voice so frail and weak that it made Castiels heart bleed to think that she was that breakable – that he wasn't careful enough.<br>"They're coming," Balthazar said testily, cockily smiling at Willow which made her smile softly, wincing with pain as she stood up and took up a defensive stance like everyone else.  
>"What're you doing?" And this time Willow didn't have to look up to know it was Balthazar was talking, you could tell from his infuriated British accent that it was him while he looked at her with confusion and worry.<br>"You need to rest," Castiel murmured quietly in her ear so only Willow could hear but even as he said it he knew it was no good. She was his little worrier princess.

Without warning three large angels all dressed in the same straight lace black and white suite with expressionless faces appeared in the middle of the room, an uneasy silence ensued as neither side knew what to do until Willow spoke again, "fucking hell, it's the Matrix guys."  
>Dean was the only one who laughed, Castiel granted Willow a short smile but otherwise the stony expressions were the same until Dean spoke up, relaxing from his fighting stance.<br>"Well as much as a laugh this has been."  
>"How're you feeling Willow?" the one at the front spoke up and with a satisfactory smile when he realised falter in both Dean and Willows confidence he continued, "you know I'm almost impressed. Once that poison hits you, well you should be dead in the hour yet here you are."<br>"You poisoned her," Castiel repeated, his voice was the most angry she'd ever heard it, and it was barely above a whisper.  
>"Yes, your marriage is wrong Castiel, she is nothing," the angel said.<br>"No," Castiel growled, "I see why _our father_ loved them so much."  
>"But this one, she's tainted with the grace of our brother Lucifer, she stole it."<br>"No," Willow spoke up as she noticed the angel at the back slide out the angelic metallic blade, "don't," she cocked her head as she broke into a grin, all at once feeling better – better than better she felt perfect. Invincible. And strong. She glared at the angel holding the blade, "you are Castiels family, I mean hell my family now," she laughed dryly, "I don't want to kill you."  
>"You're an abomination," the angel replied.<br>"Blame your daddy," Willow said as she raised her eyebrows and ducked the blade which was flung to her head. She grinned easily at him as she jumped forwards, "you'll need to do better than that," as she touched his forehead and black light shone through his eyes and mouth as he dropped to the floor – his wings splayed out behind him as he was stone cold dead.

**Let me know whatcha think?**


	25. Chapter 24

**Sorry**

**Please review and thank you for everyone who did review – it means a lot.**

**I hope you enjoy**

**R&R**

"You're an abomination," the angel replied.  
>"Blame your daddy," Willow said as she raised her eyebrows and ducked the blade which was flung to her head. She grinned easily at him as she jumped forwards, "you'll need to do better than that," as she touched his forehead and black light shone through his eyes and mouth as he dropped to the floor – his wings splayed out behind him as he was stone cold dead.<p>

Willow felt as if she was waking up from a long and terrible dream as her eyes fluttered open, the low Cuban sun blinding her momentarily as she took a small step backwards, slipping on was whatever was on the floor, her feet sliding out beneath her. She glanced down as she felt something wet soak her hands and with wide eyes and shaky breath she realised that it was ruby red blood.  
>She leapt to her feet as she felt the adrenaline kick in, hearing her heart beat in her ears as she looked about the floor under her as she registered what was going. The dead gory bodies on the floor with the dark angel wings splayed out behind them, the blood up the walls. She spun on her feet, running hands through her hair as she pulled her hair tight. She heard the blood pounding in her ears as she saw Sam, Dean, Balthazar and Castiel slowly pulling themselves up from the floor, dents in the wall where she assumed where Castiel and Balthazar had been thrown into it.<br>"Willow?" Dean groaned as he pulled himself upright.  
>"Dean," Willow cried, frozen to the spot in sheer terror, the low light which was once blinding to her eyes now made everything in the room glow eerily. "What's going on? What – why are they dead. What is going on?" She almost screamed, her voice creeping into hysteria, her hands still running through her hair as her skin paled, making her almost glowing in the golden light.<br>"Willow," Castiel got to his feet, holding his hand out, slowly taking steps forward, "are you okay?"  
>"Yes. Yes," her voice almost at a yell now, Castiel still creeping forwards, "who did this?"<br>Castiel kept creeping forwards, his hands still reaching out to her as he crept forwards, he was almost touching her two seconds before he replied, "you did Will." 

Castiels hands were almost on her when Willow let out an involuntary twitch, before her arms dropped loosely to her sides, her face breaking into a small grin as she looked at him, any panic or emotion at all which could have been present in her eyes fell away and she looked at Castiel with clear eyes.  
>"Well of course I did silly. Who else would have been strong enough for this pleasure?" Willow said and Castiels eyes widened as his arms dropped to his sides as he took a look at the differences she showed.<br>The usual twinkle in her eyes – as if she knew a secret which no one else knew – was gone, Castiel noticed straight away, the little habits she had like playing with her hair, or tapping a pattern on her legs was gone. She was perfectly still with a hint of a smile which looked cold on her face.  
>"What's the matter dearest Cassie? Or you Dean you're looking at this awfully shocked," she drawled, "shall I let you in on a secret boys? When you angels fall and your grace taints, it turns more into your soul, a spirit of sorts. And my Lucifers spirit was in here all along, chipping away at this pretty little time bomb and it look the pretty little angel venom to break down the final walls, because she had to tap into me to keep herself alive. So boys, she's mine now," she raised her eyebrows and put her hands on her hips as she carelessly stepped over the angel corpses without so much as a look down, making Dean, Cas, Balthazar and Sam take a small step back towards the wall, their backs pressed onto it as all four of them looked at her with confused eyes.<br>"Where's Willow in all this?" Dean asked and Castiel felt his blood boil when he heard the answer from the Possessed Willow, his hands clenching into small fists, his nails digging into the palms of his hands.  
>"Willow? Darling baby Willow? Oh she's in here," she tapped the side of her head before cocking it to the side, looking at them with a cruelly amused gaze which made Castiels heart drop, "Want to talk to her?"<br>With a twitch that Castiel noticed, Willow snapped her head forwards, her eyes wide with such fear that Castiel wanted to gather her small and shaking body up and run far away from all this with her.  
>"Guys?" she whispered, tears dripping down her face as she looked at them in turn, her eyes finally setting on Castiel, "I'm so scared."<br>"Don't be," Dean growled, "we'll save you. We'll find a way."  
>"Yes," Balthazar said quickly, "the hairless ape is right, we'll find a way."<br>Willow shook her head, loose strands of her hair falling into her eyes as more tears fell freely. "But you won't," she tried to smile, "I can feel it, in here," she whispered, gesturing towards her head, "she pull me back whenever and will have to watch everything she –" Willow cut herself short and raised her head slightly, taking a deep breath in as she tried to blink away the tears as she spoke in a rush, the words spilling out over each other. "Dean, you're my big brother, you were there for me when I thought that I had nothing and you deserve to be happy no matter what you think."  
>"Willow," Castiel tried to speak over her, his voice rough with emotion that he couldn't express, he was trying to tell her to stop, that this was all unnecessary but she talked over him, barely stopping to take a breath as she tried to keep the tears back.<br>"Sammy, you're smart and you could have been a great lawyer, and Jess wasn't your fault, I was going to be more tactful about it but I know you still blame yourself _don't_. And Balthy, well I don't need to say anything to you – you know you're great. Please take care of Cas for me though, I need him to be okay. And tell Bobby he was the best father I could have hoped for, and Castiel. I didn't think I could love anyone, but I love you _so _much, and the wedding – was all perfect because of you," Willow opened her mouth as if to continue but instead a tortured scream escaped her lips which made the hairs on the back of Castiels neck stand on edge as she dropped to her knees.  
>Castiel exchanged a tearful look with Dean as Willow slowly raised herself to her feet, but Castiel didn't need to hear the monotonous drawl which escaped the Possessed Willows lips to know that it wasn't her. The empty look in her eyes was enough.<br>"That was fun, wasn't it boys? Thank you also, for keeping Willows body ticking for me, it will be useful, for me that is," she laughed carelessly as Dean and Sam both took an angry step forwards, "calm yourself boys. What? Will you hurt _her_?She is still in here you know; don't want to break Willow do you? Well, as fun as it's been, I'll see you guys in hell." And with last cruel grin the Possessed Willow disappeared with a flap of wings and Castiel felt his heart break, for what he was sure was the last time he thought he'd feel.

"Oh Lucifer my dear? I've returned, I've worn something nice for you," Possessed Willows voice rang clear through the old house, the echo bouncing from all the walls. Silence ensued for a second before he appeared in the room, on the wall opposite from her.  
>"What took you so long?" he asked her with welcoming arms.<p>

**You liiiike?**

**Rate and review please! :}**


	26. Chapter 25  Castiel

**As per usual Supernatural is regrettably not mine (or real)  
>Read and review please, means a whole lot.<strong>

**Castiel**

It had been three days since Willow had gone and I had no idea what to do with myself except to sit inside Bobbys over crowded front room in shocked silence alongside everyone else. The only person who was talking at all was Balthazar and Castiel was beginning to feel his annoyance as he paced the front room as he finally snapped, his English accent becoming more pronounced the angrier he got.  
>"What is wrong with you lot?" Balthazar almost yelled, "You are just going to give up? Leave her to face this on her own, and be done with it? You guys are acting like she's dead damn it."<br>"She might as well be," I heard the works escape my lips and instantly I hated myself for saying it but I knew it was true, I hoped it was. I simply can't, I thought to myself, think about Willow being alive in there for the rest of eternity with no escape. Not my warrior princess.  
>I dared to lift my head and meet my brothers eyes as he looked at me with disbelief etched into his features, turned on his heel and disappeared within seconds. I sighed and put my head in my hands, thinking of what would be happening now if Willow was still here with us, in my arms. If the angels, <em>my brothers<em>, didn't poison her.  
>I have no idea how much longer the four of us sat in silence, but as much as I tried to talk, all the words got stuck in my throat, because I wanted to hear Willow voice instead. Hear her laugh, see her take a drag of her cigarette and winkle her nose when the room got too smoky. I just wanted her.<p>

"You know," Dean said huskily, breaking the tense silence, making me jerk upright, "when we first met Willow she wouldn't talk for weeks on end, and then one day she walked downstairs and just started asking questions and Bobby – do you remember? We just sat there looking at her like she was an alien. But around John she never spoke. She was always so quiet until she reached sixteen."  
>At first I didn't understand why Dean was telling us until Sam spoke up, "I remember when you and Dad were hunting before I left and me and Willow just watched House re-runs all day, back when Dad didn't know she smoked and used to dangle out the bathroom window so he wouldn't smell it."<br>Which was when I realised why Balthazar got so angry, because I could feel the same rage bubbling up inside of me. Willow was still alive, deep inside and we were already talking as if she was dead, and as the anger built up inside me, all the hopelessness and hurt somehow disappeared and I felt sick with rage.  
>"Stop it," I growled, "she's not dead."<br>Sam looked at me sympathetically but both Bobby and Dean kept their heads ducked down, "even you said it, the grace inside of her is too powerful we can't do anything," I could hear Sam say, but everything else seemed muffled to me, my thoughts were shouting at me, I was missing something and it could save Willow. I nearly cried out but focused on all training which I had in heaven to keep my voice as calm as I could.  
>"At full capacity," I said slowly, trying to push my thoughts into order before I carried on, "Lucifer wants his grace though but her also. So he will keep a small amount inside Willow to keep her Possessed. But if we can get in, and see Willow once that has happened then she could break through and take back control. She could do that easily once there is a little amount of grace she just needs a push. She can live."<br>I looked at everyone who was now looking at me with dumbfounded expressions and I couldn't help but to just smile, a little bit, trying to push down the hope but I secretly rejoiced in it. For the first time in three days I didn't feel worthless and crushed for not saving her, because I still could."  
>"You think that'll work?" Dean jumped to his feet, his eyes boring into mine and I tried my hardest to return the gaze, even though his eyes reminded me of Willows it was comfort in a way.<br>"If it doesn't then she will surely kill us, which is why I am going," I said quietly without thinking about it, because it was true. I had no life without her. She was the one who taught me now to feel – that it was okay to feel, and I never stopped to think what would happen if she was gone, because it was as if all the good feelings she taught me, well they left with her.  
>"Cas you're not going," Dean raised his eyebrows at me and I sighed, "not by yourself."<br>"Yes I am," I said adamantly, "they will notice you coming, I can just 'zap' in and try and save her."  
>"And if you die?" Sam said simply, standing beside Dean, "she wanted us to keep you safe."<br>"Willows not here, it's my choice. If Willow is dead, then killing me will be the safest thing ever."

**Please review aha, feed the starving writer!**


	27. Chapter 26 Willow

**As per usual Supernatural is regrettably not mine (or real)  
>Oh guys, your reviews make me smile, thank you! :}<br>Read and review please, means a whole lot.**

**Willow**

I didn't think it was possible to be locked in your own mind, I mean I'd heard people talk about being possessed before but this was different in every way I'd imagined. I was in a small five foot by six foot room with smooth grey walls which never seemed to stop stretching upwards. I'd paced the small room every so often looking through two small gaps in the wall so I could see what whoever was inside me was doing, and so far the worst thing that happened was that he pulled some of his grace out of her, which made the room smaller.  
>I hit the wall for the thousandth time, resisting any urge to cry, I was going to refuse to give the bitch the pleasure.<br>"Hey bitch," I yelled out, "I'm going to fucking kill you."  
>My voice sounded horse but I didn't care, I could sense that me shouting and smashing into these walls both distracted and pissed whoever it was riding my body for free.<br>I glanced through the eyeholes of my room again as the room began to shake, almost making the loose my balance. With a shiver I realised that my eyes were just looking at a blank wall, which somehow felt more sinister over when they were crooning over Lucifer.  
>"You think you can win this?" I heard an horribly high pitched voice say, I grimaced but glad at the conversation, I had no idea how long I had been cramped inside but it felt like months.<br>"Gracey – do you mind if I call you that?" I paused, trying to keep the cocky edge to my voice as I carried on, "I can win whatever the fuck I want so I wouldn't even. Got it?"  
>"You have no idea what I can do when I stop to think about it. See my point?" the horrible voice overhead said, before everything paled into what for a moment seemed like nothingness, until I blinked and the walls surrounding me as somewhere else came into focus.<br>The room looked old fashioned I suppose, the kind of homely home which normal children may have had grown up in, I turned on my heel when I heard the small rustling sound behind me. I dared not to believe my eyes as I slipped forwards looking at the small girl in front of me. Her hair looked like a slightly less tame version of mine now while I absently mindedly pushed my hand through my own hair. Her eyes looked up and went straight through me, she couldn't see me that much I could tell by the way she still looked peaceful and untroubled as she glanced back down at the doll on her hand and smiled at it, making it dance across the table, singing a tune under her breath and I could have cried when I realised what Gracey was showing me, but regardless I lifted my head up and tried to stare down the blissfully ignorant girl in front of me, too knowing of that was coming.  
>The loud noises which were thumping down the stairs startled me but I kept my stance, the small girl with eyes more innocent then mine. She lifted her head up and stood up, jogging towards the door, her lilac dress flying out behind her as she waited for the door to fling open.<br>"Mummy! Daddy!" her voice rung out, smiling at them with childlike naivety which almost melted my heart right there and then. I wanted to scoop her out of harm's way and run. Stop the girl from ever finding out what pain was.  
>"What's the matter Mummy?" and I knew what was coming, I glued my eyes to what was going on in front of me, <em>my parents<em> with pitch black eyes looming over the little me, flinging me about like a rag doll, my tiny screams filling the hair as the knife skimmed over my skin, before John burst through the door.  
>The memory in front of me snapped to a stop as I heard Graceys thoughts fling themselves into panic, I peeked through the gaps of the corner of my mind and almost burst into tears when I saw Castiel. I thought his blue eyes could see right through the mind into my eyes but he stopped and said, "I want Willow back."<br>I screamed out, rage covering everything I saw and I flung myself forwards, pushing my fingers through the tiny holes which were originally only there to let me see. I could feel blood begin to pour out my fingers but I carried on regardless. Feeling sick at the prospect of Castiel dying.  
>I had no idea how I managed it but I pushed through the walls and flooding back into my mind, the first thing I managed to do was crash Lucifer into the wall, a mixture of untainted grace and adrenaline made that possible, I crashed the angel blade - which was strategically placed around the room – and buried it into his chest, I knew it wouldn't kill him. But it would stop him killing Castiel and that was the way it worked.<br>I felt control of myself, the screaming's of Gracey were echoing inside my head, but the joy on Castiels face when he realised it was me made me carry on running, into his arms. As we disappeared with a flash of wings as soon as I hit into his arms, the rage momentarily took over me but after a second, we were in Bobbys front room. Everyone jumped to their feet when they saw me, and my heart soared, we'd done it – he'd saved me.  
>I spun around to kiss Castiel and with a jerk I saw him on the floor with an angel blade in his chest with my hands cover in blood.<p>

**Please review aha, feed the starving writer! **


	28. Chapter 27

**As per usual Supernatural is regrettably not mine (or real)  
>Oh guys, your reviews make me smile, thank you! :}<br>Feel special my friends, triple update!  
>Read and review please, means a whole lot.<strong>

Willow didn't know what to do as Castiel dropped to the floor, trying to breathe through the tears which were pouring down her cheeks, she fell with him, putting pressure on the wound which was pouring blood out of his chest, making her heart sink.  
>"Castiel, Cassie, hey. Hey!" Willow was yelling, cradling Castiels head in her lap softly smacking his face, trying to keep his eyes open. "Cas. Castiel! Please, don't leave me I've just gotten back baby. You did so good saving me baby," Willow whimpered through the tears as Castiel placed a hand on her cheek a smile for a second sliding onto his lips, before the smile slipped into more of a grimace as he began talking, his voice weak slipping through his grit teeth.<br>"Will, it's not your fault, I love you."  
>"It'll be okay," she cried, rocking with his head on her lap, "we'll be okay, I love you so much. It's going to be okay."<br>"It's not your fault," Castiel whispered, "I love you."  
>Before the breath left his body and a white light burst from him, leaving Castiels body behind, his wings splayed out behind him making Willow let out a tortured scream. Sam, Dean and Bobby stood in the same spots as if they were stuck, their eyes glued on Castiels dead body and Willows sobbing frame who was draped across him as she rocked him.<br>Dean somehow managed to come to his senses and dropped to his knees beside her, trying to softly prise her off Castiels body, sending a quiet prayer to Balthazar on the vain hope that he'd hear it. Willow chucked her head back and swung around, flinging her fist back and making it connect with a powerful crunch making Dean fly backwards.  
>"Will," Sam tried, standing opposite her, sparing a small glance at Castiels body but snapping his head up, trying to keep his voice calm for her.<br>"No," her voice was so quiet that at first no one thought it was her who was saying it, "I can't lose him. Please make him come back."  
>"Please," Dean tenderly tugged back on her shoulder as he whispered to her, coaxing her back, "Just come over here. Come 'ere Will."<br>Willow looked at Dean for a few seconds, her hands still around Castiels body, her eyes searching Deans for something and Dean felt taken back – he'd never seen her like this. Her eyes were filled with tears which were freely falling down her cheeks, her hair dampened down which made her look small and hurt.  
>Her eyes flew over his shoulder and instead of what Dean was waiting for – which was her flinging into his arms and sobbing – instead she began screaming something illegible and flinging inanimate objects into the corner. But no one could see what she was doing, except her.<p>

Willow almost flung herself into Deans arms, her Castiel had gone and the pain was ripping her in two, she was on the edge of doing it – of letting him comfort her, when she saw herself. She knew it was the Possessed version of herself as soon as Gracey opened her mouth and began talking. "Ha!" she laughed, "I killed Castiel. Castiel is dead and I still have my Lucifer who is alive and well. Does that bother you, you killed him with your own hands."  
>Which was when Willow forgot about everything else, except that she could ignore the pain with anger, which make everything go black until she felt two very strong hands around her waist, followed by another pair when she didn't stop thrashing about.<br>"Willow," she vaguely heard Bobby yell at her, fear laced in his voice as she stopped screaming, so suddenly that they all thought she passed out.  
>"I'll kill you," she glared at Gracey, "you will die. I'll make sure it happens."<br>"Willow, who are you talking to?" she could hear one of them ask but she couldn't help but to ignore it while she carried on scowling openly, words only just managing to escape her purse lips, afraid she'd start screaming again.  
>"It's Gracey."<br>"Gracey? Will you're making no sense," she knew it was Sam who was talking now from the sympathy etched in her words.  
>"Lucifers grace. She killed Castiel. It's inside me," she slumped, looking up at Sam with tears slipping down her face, "do you hate me? I killed my angel."<p>

**DUN DUN DUN  
>Nearing the end, sadly. One or two more chapters?<br>However I was thinking of writing another with a whole new load of pazzaz. Anyone read it? ^_^**


	29. Chapter 28  The First Letter

**As per usual Supernatural is regrettably not mine (or real)  
>Oh guys, your reviews make me smile, thank you! :}<br>Feel special my friends, fourth update tonight!  
>I couldn't get them out my head<br>Read and review please, means a whole lot.**

_Dear my angel,  
>I miss you, a lot and I don't think I can ever stop because then I think I'll just be empty inside because aside the sadness I can't feel much else.<br>I hope you understand why I couldn't go to your funeral, and just in case my dear that you missed it instead, after talking to Balthazar we gave you a hunters funeral no one knew what else to do but the idea of you burning and disappearing into ash. I couldn't see that, I can't actually believe you're gone.  
>Sam gave me the idea to write a letter, he said he writes one to Jess once a month and just puts it in the mail with her name on it in the hope she'll get it. I don't think I'm going to put this in the mail though. I'm going to put it in a bottle and put it in the sea, in Cuba next to where we got married. I hope you see this. I need you to see how sorry I am.<br>Because it's all my fault, you came to save me and I was too weak. Although I can take control now I couldn't then? When I had you in my arms and everything was perfect and I ended your life. Although I assume I'll be saying this to you sooner than everyone else things Cas. I just don't think that I can cope like this, not for much longer anyway and I know if you were here, or if anyone else knew what I was thinking that you'd shout at me until you were blue in the face but the reality is I killed you, and without you I don't think that I can keep Gracey quiet forever – or even if I could I don't think that even than could make me smile because you wouldn't be here with me and how can I be happy without that?  
>I need you.<br>I never thought I'd say that, I'm always one for being alone and although I love my Winchesters, and Bobby and Joe I know that they could live without me, and after a while the pain would go. But you were the only person I knew – that I loved so much it hurt – that couldn't live without me either and I just. I just don't know.  
>I don't know if you'll see this, or if someone else reads it and thinks I am crazy, I couldn't give a fuck because I just feel alone.<br>I watch your favourite movie all the time – I mean horrors who'd have thought it? I still smile when the Demon drops from the ceiling and you made that little high pitched squeak. Hell that bit of Grave Encounters still scares me. I still listen to the first song you knew the words to, I find myself listening to it in my head with you singing the words. I pray to you every night and I wish that you were here.  
>Maybe you'll get this, and maybe I'll see you before you do see this letter.<br>But I love you Castiel, and I am really sorry.  
>All my love, forever and always<br>Willow Lilly Winchester-Novak  
>P.s. I'm still wearing the pendant; every single day so you can find me, I won't take it off in case you can't find me around all the people.<br>__I hate myself for hurting you, I'm so sorry Castiel, I should be dead instead. I love you._

**Nearing the end, sadly. One or two more chapters still to go though!  
>However I was thinking of writing a sequel with a whole new load of pazzaz. Anyone read it? ^_^<strong>


	30. The last letter

**As per usual Supernatural is regrettably not mine (or real)  
>Oh guys, your reviews make me smile, thank you! :}<strong>

**Read and review please, means a whole lot.**

_Castiel,  
>I hope you got my last letter, for a few days I almost felt human because you knew I was sorry. But then I realised that you probably didn't get my last letter, and even if you did you wouldn't believe me.<br>Hell, I wouldn't believe me...  
>I tried killing myself the other day. It looks pathetic writing it down, I wish I didn't but you aren't here you just – this is too real.<br>I drove my car straight off a cliff, everyone except Joe thinks that it was an accident. I was drunk and took the wrong turning, but for some reason she saw right through me. I can't stand to see her any more, she knows I am weak now. The problem is that as you can tell, I'm not dead Cassie, drove full speed off the edge of a cliff and I walked away with scratches – was that you? I like to think it was, that a small part of you cares.  
>I see Gracey a lot now, it's like she's my shadow and it frightens me. To the core and all I want is you in my arms telling me you love me. But that will never happen and I will never get to see you again and I will die alone. I miss you more than ever and I am so sorry <em>

_I love you _

_Your wife  
>Willow Winchester.<br>_**  
>This is the end!<br>DUN DUN DUN  
>I'll be writing a sequel to this, when it's up and running I'll let you know it's called.<br>Thankyou everyone and I hope you've enjoyed. **


	31. Sequel

The sequel of Glorified Entities is up it's called "Caged Light," I hope you'll enjoy it as much as you've hopefully enjoyed this.  
>Thankyou for sticking by this story and all ya'll reviews and I hope you enjoy.<p>

Cj xox


	32. Tumblr

Hey guys, well I've been doing a lot with exams and such but I have hell of a lot of time off coming up, so expect to be bombarded with updates!  
>For the meantime though, I've made a tumblr for all my stories;<br>.com  
>So yeah, on here there will basically just be drabbles and gifs and other fun things, so please follow and such!<br>AwkwardImagination  
>xox<p> 


	33. Chapter 33

****Hello you beautiful lot, now I am 100% suffering from writers block in ********the sequel to ********this story and god damn do I want to carry on but I ******_**c**_**_**_**an't**_**_****and dear god is it frustrating me.****

****So I have a proposition, if any of you are writers yourself and enjoy this story and ********enjoy the sequel (or even want to read it) and ********can see a plot in the future then please let me know and you can write a few chapters & then I may jump back in and we can write together.****

****If your not a writer but full of great ideas, leave one in the review box or PM me and maybe I'll get ********the sequel Caged Light******** back on it's track. But yes, thank you so much and I am so sorry!****

****Have a good day****

****awkwardimagination****

****xox****


End file.
